Tell You Something
by Anne Nonymus
Summary: After Brennan leaves for Indonesia, Booth receives some terrible news. He doesn't want Bren to find out, but the squints know better and do what they can to get Brennan back. Will she get there in time? May contain spoilers for the finale.
1. You Could Be Happy

**A/N: The plot bunnies strike again. The bunnies claim that they were using their psychic abilities for this one, so it may contain spoilers for the finale.**

**Yeah, I don't own Bones or any of its characters. Kinda obvious since I'm writing fanfics and not scripts.**

**You Could Be Happy**

"Hey Cam," Booth called out as he strode through her office doors. "Got a minute?"

"Hey Booth, shouldn't you be getting ready to head over to Ft. Benning?" asked Cam, trying to sound cheery. She hated the idea of Booth reenlisting and reliving all of the horrors that he fought so hard to get past, but she respected his decision and his need to be somewhere else while Brennan was away in Indonesia for a year.

"I'm not going to Ft Benning." replied Booth.

"Oh thank God," Cam exhaled in relief, looking up at him with a genuine smile until one look at his pale face told her that there was something wrong. "Okay...what happened?"

"I need you to look at something for me," Booth replied quietly, handing her a disk. She saw on the label that it was from the Military Hospital that Booth took his physical, and her heart dropped. "I need a second opinion Cam. I need you to tell me if this is what I think it is. I need you to tell me if there's a chance that they're wrong."

"Okay." she hoped that she sounded calm, but when she reached out for the disk her hand was shaking. She grabbed it quickly, praying that Booth didn't see, but from the look on his face she could tell that he did.

Cam took a steadying breath before slipping the disc into her computer's disc drive. On her screen, a little circle popped up and she clicked on it. Soon, a scan of Booth's brain appeared, tears welled up in Cam's eyes and her lips quivered as she realized that rather than reassuring her best friend that the doctors had made a mistake she was confirming his worst fears.

"I'm so sorry Booth," her voice thick with emotion. She paused for a brief moment to clear her voice in an attempt to sound at least a bit more calm. "But it seems that the tumor has returned."

"That's what they said," he replied with a mirthless smile. "I guess I don't have to tell you that I didn't pass my physical."

"Are you suffering from headaches? Double vision? Are you hearing voices or suffering from hallucinations?" asked Cam, trying to sound professional even though her heart was breaking for him. It was horrible for him the first time he was forced to go through this, she can't imagine having him go through it again.

"No, not yet at least. They said that they think they caught it early." he replied, not sounding very assured.

"That's good!" Cam said enthusiastically, knowing that a patient's state of mind lent a great deal to the patient's survival. "We'll call Dr Jursik and let him know what's happening. He'll go in, take out the tumor and everything will be fine."

"Can you come with me to my consultation?" asked Booth hesitantly. "My appointment is tomorrow morning. Bones was with me the last time and I just need someone there that can explain all that medical stuff."

"Of course I will Booth." she reassured him.

"Thanks," he sighed in relief. "Speaking of Bones, is she still in her office?"

Cam's smile slipped, she swallowed hard and although her lips were moving, no words came out. Suddenly, a flicker of realization passed through his chocolate brown eyes, and just when she thought her heart couldn't break any more for him, it did.

"Right," he nodded. "I dropped her off at the airport yesterday morning. She called me late last night to say she got there safe. Must have slipped my mind."

"Sure," whispered Cam, not trusting herself to say more than that. She took a couple of discreet breaths before she continued. "Did you tell her yet?"

"No, and I don't want her to know," Booth replied, shaking his head. "Cam, you can't say a word of this to her or anyone else."

"Are you kidding me?" snapped Cam. "Booth, you have to tell her - she'd want to know. You want a repeat of what happened when she thought you were dead?"

"Cam, I'm serious - don't breathe a word of this to her," growled Booth. "I don't want her to have to go through that again."

"Her, what about you?" asked Cam incredulously. "You need her Booth. Don't pretend that's not true."

"Fine, I do need her," he admitted. "More than anything. But I want her to be happy, and she's happy there. She was so excited to go Cam. She couldn't wait to get her hands on those remains."

Cam knew admitting that had to hurt. She tried to understand what Brennan was going through, but it was hard not to hate her. Especially given what Booth was going through because of her, and now, just when he needs her the most she's off in Indonesia. And the astonishingly pigheaded man before her would rather suffer alone than call her and ask her to come back.

"I don't want her to feel like she has to come back to watch them cut into my brain again," he continued. "Just let her be Cam. If they caught it early enough, then she doesn't need to know. By the time she comes back I'll be good as new again."

"And what if they didn't?" Cam pointed out. "You had a memory lapse just a second ago. You forgot that Dr Brennan left and that you were the one who brought her to the airport. And don't pretend that it isn't a big deal, because when it comes to Brennan and her safety, you would never screw around with that."

"If it is worse than they make it out to be, if I..." Booth paused, taking a moment to chose his words carefully. "If I don't survive the surgery, then what would be the point in her coming back here? She won't be able to do anything anyway. This is a brain thing, not a bones thing. She's better off where she is. She's where she needs to be."

"Cam, I don't want to talk about this any more," Booth cut her off when she was about to argue. "I'm not feeling great right now. I just want to go home. The doctor said that I shouldn't drive in case the hallucinations start while I'm in the car. Could you drive me home?"

"Alright," Cam relented. "I just need to sign a couple of things and grab my stuff. I'll meet you in the parking garage."

Cam watched Booth head to the lab doors and waited until she could no longer see him before grabbing her phone and calling Brennan's cell phone. She was trying to will Brennan to answer when she remembered that Brennan didn't take her cell phone with her to digs since they're often in remote areas with little cell phone reception. She cursed, ended the call and dialed Angela instead.

"Ange, can't talk long. Get Hodgins and call Sweets. Be at the Founding Fathers in half an hour." Cam said as soon as Ange picked up. She didn't give Angela a chance to respond before hanging up. She quickly gathered her things and ran to meet Booth before he could tell that she was up to something.


	2. You're All I Need to get By

**A/N: Thank you for your warm response to this story. As for my plot bunnies psychic abilities, I should have known better when they couldn't tell me with a straight face. They're extremely creative pathological liars. Not sure to believe them when they tell me I have spinach in my teeth either.**

**Just to let you know, I'm not going to be going into too much medical detail over Booth's tumor for a few reasons. 1) I'm not a doctor and even though I've spent the last few days researching it, the more I found the more confused I became and I didn't want to inadvertently transfer the confusion to my readers. 2) I'm writing this as a dramatic story, not as a medical procedural. It's not so much about Booth's cancer as it is about how he and the people who've become like family to him react to this.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bones or any of its characters. I am willing to trade several of my organs for the rights though.**

**You're All I Need to get By**

Cam was so distracted that she ran a red light on the way to Booth's place. Thankfully, he didn't say a word. She was afraid that if he made some lame joke about her trying to kill him she would have burst into tears. As he exited her car, he simply reminded her of the doctor's appointment that she promised to accompany him to, and quietly entered his building. She took a deep breath, and then another, and then one more while swallowing back the tears that threatened to spill over before heading towards the Founding Fathers where everyone was waiting for her.

She found a nearby parking spot which was incredibly rare, and she hoped it was a good omen. She was determined to be strong, not just for Booth but for the whole team. She remembered when Booth's brain tumor was first diagnosed, everyone took it badly. Sitting in the waiting room waiting for news on the surgery was excruciating, but at least they had each other. That's what she would remind them - Booth had them and they had each other. Only, when she entered the restaurant and saw a table full of people that were more like family than friends, it was glaringly apparent that there was something missing - some_one_ missing. The one person that should be there, the one person that pulled Booth through that nightmare wasn't around. She was thousands of miles away, clueless about just how much Booth needed her by his side right now.

"Hey Cam!" Angela greeted, the first one from the table to see her first. They all seemed to be recovering from a joke that was told before Cam got to the table. She wished that she heard it. She really could use a laugh right about now.

"Hey guys." Cam replied, trying desperately to smile and failing as she felt her lip begin to quiver. She wanted so badly to be strong, to be able to reassure everyone that despite what was going on with Booth's brain, everything would be alright. She just wasn't sure that she could.

"Everything okay with Michelle?" asked a concerned Angela.

"Michelle's fine." she replied, glad that she would be able to say that at least. Her daughter was fine. Her best friend wasn't.

"Then what's wrong with you?" teased Hodgins. "You look like you lost your dog. Since you don't actually have a dog, things can't be all that bad. Why don't you pull up a chair and order an alcoholic beverage. You look like you could use some help lightening up."

"There's something that...I have some bad news." said Cam, not sure how to say it. She took a seat beside Sweets and ordered a whiskey, neat from the waitress that floated by their table.

"What's wrong Cam?" Sweets asked gently, picking up on her distress cues. "Something bad happened didn't it?"

"It's Booth," Cam began, feeling a tightness in her chest. She didn't want to say the words, not out loud. Saying it out loud meant that it was really happening again. "He's..."

"Is he alright?" asked Ange, starting to get worried. She knew that Booth was supposed to have left for Fort Benning right about now. They wanted to send him off properly and say goodbye at the gate, but Booth insisted that they not make a scene. He said that he was only going to be away for a year. He even joked that they could demonstrate how much they missed him by pitching in and getting him a big screen flat panel tv when he got back. He figured a year was long enough for them to gather up the money for it.

"Did he get to the airport okay?" added Hodgins.

"No, he's not going to Fort Benning," Cam said quietly. "He's going to see Dr. Jursik tomorrow morning."

"Dr. Jursik?" mused Sweets, wondering why that name sounded so familiar. When he figured out where he knew it from, the realization hit him like a ton of bricks. "Oh my god, that's Booth's neurosurgeon..."

"Why would Booth need to see his..." muttered Jack, taking a sip of his beer when he finally got what Cam was trying to say. "No...no no no no no...Cam don't tell me this is happening again."

"How did..." Angela found herself at a rare loss for words. "Are you sure? I mean, maybe it isn't what they think it is."

"I saw the scans myself," admitted Cam. "They gave him a copy of his scans and asked me to look at it to see if they were right. I would give anything for it not to be true, but I'm afraid it is. It's back. Booth's tumor is back."

They sat together in an awful, pained silence, absorbing this devastating news. Last time Booth had a tumor removed from his brain, it took him four days to wake up and almost a year to get to the point where he felt like himself again. He had worked so hard to recover, so hard to get back to being the partner that Brennan counted on. And Brennan found herself facing the prospect of losing him again. She was so scared of the idea that she hopped on a plane to Guatemala the first chance that she got.

"How's he doing?" asked Hodgins awkwardly. "I mean, you know, other than the obvious."

"He seems to have accepted it," shrugged Cam. "He's not in denial about it or angry that this is happening again. I'm not quite sure if I should be glad that he's okay with it, or more worried."

"Is he exhibiting any symptoms yet?" inquired Sweets, trying to sound professional. And he would have if his voice would stop squeaking. "He's not having hallucinations or anything, is he?"

"Not yet," Cam half smiled, thanking whatever deity is listening for small miracles. "Since he does have a history of gliomas, they ordered a scan as part of his physical exam. Since he has no obvious symptoms yet, they think that they caught it relatively early."

"That's good right?" asked Sweets hopefully. "I mean, if it's a grade I tumor, then they might not even have to operate. Maybe all he needs is chemotherapy or radiotherapy-"

"Sweets," she interrupted, giving him a look that brought the reality of the situation back to him. Cam hated the fact that she would have to burst his bubble, but there was no way that she would be able to hold his hand through this and be there for Booth. "He is starting to exhibit some symptomology."

"Like what?" asked Ange, hoping that it wasn't as bad as last time.

"After he handed the disc to me and I saw...I asked him if Brennan knew," Cam said, her voice think with emotion. "He asked if she was still in her office."

"Aw shit..." muttered Hodgins. They all knew what forgetting such a detail meant.

"I'm not sure if he forgot because of the stress of finding out about the tumor, or whether it's because of the tumor," admitted Cam. "I guess that the neurological test will give us the answer to that question."

"He hasn't told Brennan yet?" inquired Angela, having a decent guess how her best friend would react to such news.

"He doesn't want her to know," Cam sighed. "He says there's no point in her coming back to watch them cut into his skull again. He understands the emotional turmoil that she went through the last time he went into surgery and he doesn't want her to feel obligated to relive it."

"Screw that," scoffed Angela. "She would want to be here. And even if I were inclined to keep this from her, I would not want to face her wrath if and when she found out that we knew and didn't tell her."

"Do you know how we can reach her?" Cam asked hopefully.

"Yeah, she gave me the number of the satphone she's using in case of an emergency," replied Ange, digging through her bag for the notepad that she wrote the number on. "I'd say this constitutes an emergency."

"Even if she wanted to hop on a plane right now, there's no way that she'd make it in time for Booth's surgery," Sweets pointed out. "_If_ she can get on a flight leaving as soon as she can get to the gate, it's like a twenty hour flight at least, not including stop overs, and that's just from the Jakarta airport to DC. She still has to get to there from Maluku, and there's no telling how long it will take, not to mention going through customs -"

"Cantilever has offices in Indonesia," Hodgins declared. "I can have the company jet gassed up and ready to go whenever she's ready. The lear might have to make a pit stop along the way to fuel up, but at least she won't have to worry about tickets or changing planes. I'll have a chopper pick her up too as soon as Angela gets the exact location. Leave her travel arrangements to me."

Angela gave Hodgins a warm smile and a quick kiss as he took out his phone and began making calls. She found Brennan's satphone number and went outside to give Brennan the bad news while Cam began to rearrange her schedule on her blackberry to accommodate for Booth's appointment with Dr. Jursik. Suddenly, Sweets started to feel helpless and completely ineffectual. All of his friends were doing something to help with the situation while he sat there sulking. He had to do something, anything to help. Booth was more than just a patient - he was a friend, a good friend and he knew if their roles were reversed, Booth would know what to do to help.

"Cam, give me something to do, please?" he begged. "Angela is talking to Brennan to convince her to come home, Hodgins is trying to arrange it so she could get here, you're helping Booth by giving him medical advice, what can I do?"

"You can be there during the neurological consult," smiled Cam, knowing how important it was to the young psychologist. "You'd be better equipped to tell if there's a difference in his behaviors and reactions, or if he shows a continuous but subtle memory lapse."

"Thanks Cam," Sweets sighed in relief. "I'll clear my schedule for tomorrow."

"You don't have to do that." protested Cam.

"I won't be able to concentrate on anything else anyway." shrugged Sweets as he began to make his own arrangements.

Cam was about to thank him for his support of Booth when she saw Ange making her way back to their table.

"I spoke to Brennan." she said breathlessly.


	3. Trouble Sleeping

**A/N: Hey everyone, sorry it took so long to update. Trying to get everything done and get as many stories wrapped up, and when that happens the bunnies don't like to cooperate. Had to learn the hard way that they don't like being rushed.**

**Thanks to all those who have alerted, favorited and reviewed any of my stories. I heart you all.**

**I still don't own Bones or any of its characters. And I'm getting bruised and sore from keeping my fingers crossed.**

**Trouble Sleeping**

The day that Brennan had been looking forward to for twelve months had finally arrived. She was at their predetermined location, sitting on the bench beside the coffee cart. She waited for Booth anxiously, feeling quite nervous about the prospect of seeing him again. She had come to certain realizations while she was in Indonesia, particularly about their relationship. She hoped that he felt the same way that she did.

Brennan stood up, beginning to pace. She was early, but not that early. And though Booth wasn't as meticulous as Brennan about promptness, he was never this late and he always called first.

She could feel the first stirrings of annoyance building up within her. For an entire year, she looked forward to his deep baritone laugh, his boyish exuberance when he was discussing a topic that he was excited about, and even his strange pop culture references. She missed hearing him call her Bones, his strong muscular arms that held her with tenderness when she needed them around her, and the lips that would curl up into a brilliant smile when he was trying to be charming. Lips that could be gentle yet demanding, intoxicating and sweet, lips that could make you forget all the rules that you set for yourself and your partner.

But at this moment, as she was sought his large frame within the crowd, what she looked forward to most were his deep brown eyes that made a habit of locking on to hers. Those warm brown eyes of his that would darken when angry, or twinkle when he was amused. Eyes that were so expressive that even she could read them, and when he would tell her that everything was going to be okay, she knew that it would be because he would make things all right. When Booth made a promise, he would do whatever it took to honor his word. That trait was becoming increasingly rare in today's society. As a matter of fact, Booth was the only person she knew who didn't make promises that he fully intended on keeping.

Irritation gave way to concern as he hadn't yet shown up. Their agreement was clear-one year from the day she left for Indonesia, they would meet by the reflecting pool by the coffee cart. There was no miscommunication or misunderstanding possible on the location of their meet. Something was amiss.

A sudden noise caught her attention and she saw Booth on the steps of the Lincoln memorial. He was yelling, screaming and struggling with an invisible foe. Brennan felt her heartbeat increase as she took a moment to understand what was going on. Booth must have been stricken with some sort of illness. She began rummaging in her bag for something, anything that could help. She found a vial with some strange looking liquid within it. For some strange reason, she knew instinctively that this elixir would save Booth. The problem was that the square was filled with people wearing blue lab coats and she was having trouble reaching Booth. The people in the blue lab coats kept getting in the way.

She tried calling out to him, attempting to get his attention so that he could at least meet her halfway. His hearing must have been affected because he couldn't seem to notice her at all, despite the fact that she was yelling at the top of her lungs. She tried to squeeze through the crowd, but she was-as Booth would say-going nowhere quickly. She asked politely for them to move out of the way, but they seemed to ignore her. She screamed for them to get out of her way and began pushing her way through the crowd, but they seemed to be pushing back. In her desperation to get to Booth, she began punching and kicking anyone that stood in her way.

She was three steps from the top when she saw Booth collapse. She was so close, she could almost reach out and touch him when she felt someone dragging her backwards by the collar of her shirt. She spun around to face a masked assailant. She wrapped her arm around the outstretched arm of the assailant, intending to twist it upwards to dislocate it. Her opponent seemed to anticipate this maneuver and before she could twist the arm upwards, her opponent gave her a side kick to the stomach.

Brennan, in pain and shock stumbled backwards. She managed to regain her balance and composure, swinging a roundhouse kick to her opponent's head. She felt it connect and used the momentary opportunity to try again to reach Booth. Her assailant managed to recover quickly from her kick and was attempting to drag her away from Booth again. The two of them began to grapple, each refusing to let the other win. Her foe seemed formidable-not overly muscular or tall, but was as determined to keep her away from Booth as she was resolved to be at his side. Brennan hated this person for keeping her away from Booth when he needed her most, and she wanted to know who it was. She decided that removing the mask would be the best multipurpose strategy-it would satisfy her curiosity, distract her assailant and she'd be able to identify him after she helped Booth recover.

She managed to grab hold of the mask and pulled it away to reveal the identity of her opponent. She let out a strangled cry as her shock was met with a cold cruel smile on the face of her enemy.

Brennan awoke, drenched in sweat and slightly disoriented without the familiar comfort of her bedroom walls surrounding her. It took her a moment to realize where she was, and she felt relieved to know that it was all a dream. On the other hand, she was still miles away from Booth and months away from seeing him again.

All of the sudden, she remembered two very special totems that she brought with her and she was overcome with the need to find them. She dragged her carry on luggage from underneath her cot and rummaged through it until she found what she was looking for. They were a last minute addition to her bag, and at the time it felt a bit silly to include them in the items that she was bringing to Indonesia, but at this moment she was relieved to have them with her. From her luggage she pulled out a small box, and smiled as she removed the lid to reveal two small molded plastic figures. She knew that it was illogical, but seeing the little figurines made her feel somehow closer to Booth for an instant. She sighed, and shaking off the sentiment she moved to do something practical.

The sheets of her cot were soaked, and since sleep was not forthcoming she decided to change them and her clothes as well. Once that was done, she still felt wide awake. Brennan decided that she could benefit from a short walk. She noted a rather picturesque clearing nearby where she could observe the constellations. It was close enough to the camp to avoid getting lost, and far enough that she could enjoy the solitude. When she got there, she noted a log that she could sit on, but as she moved towards it, there was a shadow on the other side of the log that seemed to have moved. Cautiously, she continued towards the log, cognizant of the fact that what she saw could very well be a poisonous insect or snake. Slowly, she moved to the other side of the log and found that it wasn't a venomous creature, just an annoying one.

"Oh dear god, Dr. Brennan you scared me!" gasped Daisy, standing up abruptly from lying prone against the log. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question Ms. Wick." she said sternly, trying not to show how startled she was.

"I couldn't sleep," replied Daisy sadly. "I miss Lance. I thought that I could stare at the night sky and feel somehow closer to him, like at least he might be staring at the same sky as well. But then I realized that with the time difference, if he looked up at the sky right now he might incur retinal damage from staring at the sun. And suddenly he felt that much further away and I feel more alone than ever."

"I can identify with the emotions that you're experiencing at present." Brennan found herself admitting. Yes she often found this particular student of hers bothersome at times, but in this instance it was nice to have someone to commiserate with.

"You miss Booth too, huh?" Asked Daisy sympathetically.

"Yes, I do." Brennan admitted, blinking against the tears that sprang to her eyes. "He was my partner for five years. We often spent quite a bit of time together both in a professional sense, and in our free time. I find it strange to be without his presence for an extended period of time. But we have to persevere Ms. Wick. The work we do here is far too important to afford to be distracted."

"I am such an idiot," exclaimed Daisy, literally smacking herself in the head. "Here I am complaining about missing my Lance when you must be going through so much worse. At least I know that Lance is relatively safe. He takes the train to his office, sees his patients, files his reports and goes home. Barring some strange and unforeseeable accident like the one he was in with the burst pipes a few months ago, he's relatively safe. The chances of an incident like that happening again are negligible. You on the other hand have to worry about Booth going into a war zone."

"He's only training soldiers," protested Brennan, though her argument sounded hollow to her own ears. "He isn't going into combat."

"Come on Dr Brennan," said Daisy gently, giving her mentor a knowing look. "You must be aware of the dangers inherent in the hostile environment where he would be located. Military camps are under siege on a regular basis from insurgent attacks and suicide bombers. He could be involved in a shootout right as we speak, or even worse, he could be lying in the sand, dying slowly from a gunshot wound. Or he could have gotten blown up by a pipe bomb, or an IED, or-"

Brennan cut Daisy off with a look, and feeling silently admonished, Daisy tried to apologize.

"Dr. Brennan, I'm sorry," Daisy said contritely. "I didn't mean to imply that...Booth is an excellent soldier and he's probably-"

"I'd like to be alone right now Ms. Wick." replied Brennan coldly, looking away from her. The last thing she wanted was for one of her students to see her cry. She knew that if Booth were there, he'd tell her to give Daisy a break. That she didn't mean anything by it and that the girl probably needed a friend right now. Well, Booth wasn't there, and she didn't need Daisy's friendship.

"Dr. Brennan, if you need someone to talk to," offered Daisy tentatively. "I would be honored if-"

"You should get back to camp Ms. Wick," interrupted Brennan. "Now."

She knew that she shouldn't have gotten as upset as she did with Daisy, but she couldn't help it. Brennan knew that what Ms. Wick had said was absolutely true, and yet she was having difficulty looking at the situation Booth was in objectively.

She had to reduce her emotional dependence on him. As it was, when they were saying goodbye at the airport, she nearly changed her mind about going to Indonesia. She found herself dreading each step that would take her to the plane where she was going to be thousands of miles away from him for an entire year. One whole year without his pop culture references, without regular conversations with him, without his comforting presence, without his smile. She of course had her work to keep her occupied, fellow anthropologists to converse with, but it wouldn't be the same.

When she and the other team members had arrived at the camp the day before and everything was organized to Brennan's satisfaction, Brennan went to her tent and called Booth on her satphone. He seemed relieved that she arrived at her destination safely, and despite the unfamiliar pang of homesickness, she did her best to sound excited about the project. This was one of those discoveries that could change history and the way that we see it, and for her to be in charge of the dig was an extraordinary opportunity. When she heard Booth's voice on the phone though, tears sprang to her eyes. She had never really been homesick before. Home was merely where she owned property and where she claimed her residence to be. Now that she had formed bonds of friendship with Booth and the others, she felt nearly overwhelmed by the desire to return home. She was hoping that she would be able to return to a more rational and less emotional way of thinking with a few months of working on this groundbreaking project.

And yet, while talking to Booth, all she could think about was how much she missed him, how good it was to hear his voice and how much she would have liked it if he were there with her. That wasn't possible though; he was going to Fort Benning to meet with some high ranking officials, and then to Afghanistan to teach soldiers techniques that would save lives and improve their rates of success. She and Booth were doing important work, it should be irrelevant that they're doing it apart.

She thought that she'd find herself so immersed in her duties as head of the Muluku Remains Project-as they had been dubbed by the media and the younger anthropologists-that she would begin to forget how much she already missed Booth. It did, for a little while, until an anthropology doctoral student placed a hand on her back to gently push her out of the way. For a brief and irrational moment she thought of Booth and how he would usually find an excuse to maintain physical contact with her. She used to despise the invasion of personal space and the idea that he treated her as some sort of invalid who was incapable of looking after herself. Over time, she realized that the physical contact Booth initiated was simply a sign of protective affection and his way to reassure her that he was at her side. Gradually, she not only became accustomed to his touch, she grew to like it. She appreciated that he endeavored to protect her, provided her with comfort without judgement when she needed it, and encouragement at every opportunity. He helped her to connect with people and her own emotions, and so he was indirectly responsible for the difficulty she was having with compartmentalizing.

She had once mastered the ability to dissociate from her emotions when there was work to be done. Now that she has formed close and deep bonds of affection with her work family and reconnected with the family she thought she lost, compartmentalizing was no longer as easy as it used to be. She felt like she was starting to lose herself, lose who she once was. Brennan found herself exhausted by all of the emotions she now felt herself bombarded with, emotions that she used to be able to set aside until she could objectively look at the situation that initiated that particular response in her. Now there was no respite from those emotions, and no matter what she did, she couldn't dissociate from them-especially when they concerned Booth.

Even though Booth promised that he would always be around, she knew that it wasn't reasonable to think that he would be able to keep his promise. The work he does is dangerous, dealing with either murdering criminals or suicide bombers. One day, his reaction time won't be as quick, or they'll find a criminal more clever than they are and he'll die, and she'll be left alone. She had to brace herself for that eventuality. She had to know that if something ever happened to Booth that she would be okay. That she would be fine without him. As it stood, if she were completely honest with herself, if Booth fell victim to a premature death, she's uncertain how she would be able to continue on as she was.

With a deep sigh, she returned to her tent, debating on whether she should talk to Daisy the next day and apologize for her behavior. She knew that was what Booth would advise her to do. On the other hand, perhaps that would dissuade Ms Wick from speaking to her for at least a few days. She knew the thought was mean, but she couldn't help herself.

Once in her tent, she retrieved the little plastic figurines of Jasper and Smurfette and held them close to her while she tried to get a little more sleep before they began work in the morning.

She was shocked to be awoken not by a bad dream, or her internal clock, or the sun creeping over her face as it crawled over the horizon. She was roused from sleep by the beeping of her satphone.


	4. Whatever it Takes

**A/N: Hello folks, guess who's somewhat back? Sorry it took me awhile, but I didn't fly through the surgery as well as I had hoped. Still recovering, but I did manage to squeak this chapter out. It's a bit shorter than my chapter's usually are, so the next one will likely be a monster. Hope that it was worth the wait. If it's not, I blame the bunnies and the meds.**

**Thanks for all the well wishes and the pre surgery concerns. Believe me they help a lot knowing that people care. And thanks to everyone who has reviewed alerted and/or favorited any or all of my stories. Love you more than words can say.**

**Nope, don't own Bones or any of its characters. I wanna lie and say that I do, but I could get sued for that. Darn.**

**Whatever it takes**

"Brennan." she mumbled sleepily into the satphone.

"Gather your things Bren, you have to come home. Now." A familiar voice ordered.

"Ange?" Brennan yawned, stretching to wake herself up. "You do realize that I only recently arrived here. We put down the grid lines just yesterday for the dig site. I can't leave now-"

"It's Booth." said Ange, her voice trembling. "He needs you Bren. You have to come home."

"What happened?" demanded Brennan, now fully awake. "Is he alright? He should be fine, according to his itinerary he should still be at Fort Benning. He doesn't leave for Afghanistan until the fifteenth. Did something happen at Fort Benning?"

"He didn't go to Benning," replied Ange, on the verge of tears. "He didn't pass his physical."

"What do you mean he didn't pass his physical?" muttered Brennan, sleep and shock impeding her thought processes until she was suddenly hit by a realization. She found it difficult to breathe and she felt a definite constriction in her chest as she continued.

"His tumor is back isn't it?"

Angela wasn't able to answer her immediately, as it was, she struggled to stop herself from sobbing incoherently. Ange could feel her best friend withdrawing into herself even though they were oceans away from each other. She had to hold it together for both Brennan and for Booth.

"Hodgins has a chopper ready and waiting to pick you up at the camp," Angela managed to say after a few deep breaths and swallowing back her tears. "It'll take you to the airport in Jakarta where a Cantilever jet will take you home. You might have to refuel along the way, but at least it'll be faster taking the company jet and less hassle than taking a commercial flight."

Ange waited for Brennan to say something, but the longer it took for Bren to respond, the more likely that she was warring with herself as to whether or not she should return. Once Brennan decided that she should stay there was little that Ange could do to change her mind. If that happened, the only possible chance she could have would be to get Booth to ask Brennan to come back for his sake, and she wasn't willing to put Booth through that just yet.

"Brennan, I know that as much as I want to drag your ass back home myself, it has to be your decision," began Angela, treading lightly. She knew that tough love was what was needed here, but if she got too tough she could push Brennan the other way. "There are some things that you should consider first. This is too big for anyone to handle alone Bren, even for someone as strong as Booth. But he was willing to do it, he was willing to go through this alone because of how much he loves you. Booth didn't want you to know because he thinks that you're happy where you are, and he wants you to be happy. But you don't fool me Brennan. You're miserable without him but you don't want to admit that because doing so would mean having to acknowledge that you love Booth and need him in your life. You love him more than you've loved anyone else and that terrifies you, and that's why you keep running away. You want to pretend that you would be okay without him, but deep down you know you're not. It's time to stop being afraid Bren, it's time to stop living in denial because you're being selfish keeping yourself from Booth like this - especially right now. He needs you Bren."

"He has Parker, and Rebecca, and you and Hodgins and Cam-" she tried to reason.

"It's not the same and you know it. Yeah of course he has our support and we'll do what we can for him, but he needs _you_ Brennan." pressed Angela. "You're the one that pulled him through the last time that he went through this. And if you were being really honest with yourself, you know that you need to be here as much as Booth needs you to be here."

Angela said her piece and waited with baited breath for Brennan's reaction. She didn't know what more to say, and she certainly didn't know what to do if Bren said no. She supposed that she could go and fly out to Indonesia and literally drag Brennan's ass home, but she didn't have Brennan's martial arts skills and she didn't want Brennan to show up at the hospital sulking because she was forced to be there. Besides, it was about damn time that Brennan woman up and realize what Booth meant to her. She was getting tired of attempting to break through her best friend's nearly insurmountable walls of denial that protected her and imprisoned her at the same time.

"Bren?" Angela muttered when the silence got to be too much. She dreaded the idea of having to go back inside and tell everyone that she had failed. Even worse, she hated the idea of Booth finding out that when they asked Brennan to come home for his sake, she said no.

"Bren are you still there?" pressed Angela, half hoping that the cell phone cut out, and that was the reason why she didn't hear Bren say anything, not because she was actually considering telling Angela that she wasn't planning to return.

In response, Brennan muttered a series of numbers.

"Okay, if you're talking in some sort of code-" sighed Angela.

"Those are the GPS coordinates of a nearby clearing where Hodgins can tell the helicopter to land," replied Brennan. "I'll be ready in 45 minutes. I just need to gather my things, meet with other team members and inform Dr. Montgomery at the University so that they could find a replacement for me-"

"Bren, do what you gotta do," exhaled a very relieved Angela. "Just give me the coordinates again so that I could give them to Hodgins, kay?"

Brennan did as she was asked before hanging up with Angela. She felt a flood of differing emotions threatening to overwhelm her - from relief, to dread, to fear, to longing, to something else. Something that broke through all of the other emotions and surged through her - and that was the absolute need to see Booth.


	5. I Ain't Missing You

**A/N: Hello folkses. Sorry for the delay in the update. I'm trying to get back in the saddle but keep falling off the horse. Oh well, nothing to do but keep trying. **

**Just to let you know that I tried to fit in some funny in this chapter, but I couldn't. Wanted to explore how Booth would have been feeling right about now. Not exactly the shiny happy chapter some of you requested, but I had to do it. We'll see how the next chapter goes. **

**Thanks goes to everyone who reviewed/alerted/favorited any of my stories. And for those patient few who've reviewed/alerted/favorited all of them I loves ya with all of my heart. What's left of it anyway. **

**If you're sincerely asking-no I don't own Bones or any of its characters. My question for you is-if you have asked this question, what are you on and where did you get it? My meds aren't as good as yours.**

**I Ain't Missing You**

Booth walked into his apartment feeling numb, empty, temporarily drained of any semblance of humanity. He felt stiff and robotic, his body moving without thought, just going about tasks as they need to be done. One foot stepped in front of the other, pausing momentarily to pivot so that his arm could reach out to close the door behind him. His feet pivoted again and he continued into the livingroom. He noted with disinterest how automatically he stripped off his jacket and lay it over a nearby chair so that it would leave as few wrinkles as possible. He reached towards his neck to undo his tie, only to remember he was wearing a t-shirt. His suits were all packed away since he wouldn't have needed them in Afghanistan, and boxes lined the walls of his apartment in preparations for the movers. They were supposed to go into storage tomorrow afternoon. He remembered getting an earful from Bones about it. She had all her bags packed and she was raring and ready to go a week before her flight while he made excuses, stalling and dawdling as long as he could. Packing everything up, seeing his apartment void of all of the things that made it a home to him-it made the fact that he and Bones were going to be thousands of miles apart for an entire year all too real.

God he could use a drink right now, problem was, even if he wasn't told not to consume anything after midnight to prep for the tests that he had to take at the hospital in the morning, he had no idea where his good scotch was. It was in one of the boxes, he just couldn't remember which one. His head hurt, and his thoughts felt scattered and disjointed, bouncing from one thing to another. The only thread that held them loosely together was Bones.

When he had made the decision to reenlist, he had told himself that he was doing the right thing. As much as the thought of being away from Bones and Parker for so long made him sick to his stomach, he was going to teach soldiers techniques to make them more efficient and save lives. It beat hanging around DC, just going through the motions of daily life while Bones was off doing what she does best and changing history. Now, it seems as though he was going to have to stay in DC to get his brain scrambled again. The worst part of it wasn't the surgery, it was the struggle to get back to who he used to be. At least Bones wasn't going to be here to watch him fumble through his recovery.

He had made so many mistakes with Bones already, and he couldn't necessarily blame the surgery though it obviously didn't help. He should have told her sooner how he felt about her. It's just that, when Sweets showed him the brain scans and said that the love he felt for Bones wasn't real, he began to doubt himself. Deep down he knew that he always loved her, but when Sweets said that his feelings for her would fade and when they did it would devastate her, Booth got scared. He wasn't sure of anything anymore, and he ended up telling her that he loved her in an "atta girl kinda way". God that was stupid. Even as the words fell from his lips they left an awful taste in his mouth. He should've either stuck by his admission or not said it at all.

And then there was the night when he finally gathered up the guts to tell her how he felt about her, about them and what they could be together. He should have waited before blurting out on the steps of Sweets office building that he wanted a chance with her, he should have practiced what he was going to say and they should have been somewhere where they could talk calmly about it in private. Instead, they were out in public when he basically begged her for just a chance to show her what they could be and she couldn't give him that. Of course, he was so panicked that he forgot to ask the one question that could have changed everything for the two of them. He forgot to ask how she felt about him, mainly because he was terrified of what she would say. But if she felt even a fraction of what he felt for her, it was at least a starting point. He could have waited until she was ready. Hell, if she asked he would have waited forever. Or they could have moved on from there, going slowly until she could see what he saw their future to be. Problem was, after she told him that she wasn't a gambler, wasn't able or maybe willing to change he spoke out of anger. He told her he would have to move on. What a laugh; there was no moving on from a woman like Bones. The first time that his eyes lit on her graceful frame, she had ruined him to all other women. The moment that their eyes met-that was it, his heart was hers. Never in his life could he imagine falling so hard for someone like Dr. Temperance Brennan.

The woman turned him around like no one else. She could have him so angry that he could pound his fist into a cinderblock wall one minute, and the next he had to fight to keep from wrapping his arms around her and vowing never to let her go. He could just imagine her reaction to that. As it was, part of him hated the fact that he didn't once ask her to stay, not even as a teasing joke to see what she would say about it. What if she was willing to stay because he asked? On the other hand, he could never hold her back. When she announced that she had accepted the post as head of the Muluku remains project, he hadn't seen her that giddy since they found a mummy on a fence. If he was being perfectly honest, he hadn't ever seen her as excited about one of their cases. That hurt. She once reminded him that she blackmailed him into letting her be his partner. He wondered if she did it because he told her she couldn't be, or if it was just another challenge for her to conquer. What if, while she's in Indonesia digging up the missing link or whatever, she realizes how much she misses fieldwork and when she got back, she decides that she no longer wants to solve crimes anymore. What if she no longer wants to be partners with him. She'd rather dig around in mud and dirt for people who've been dead for centuries than deal with a partner whose brain kept screwing up.

Suddenly, he felt a torrent of anger surge through him. This was bullshit-he tried to be a good man and lead a good life. He believed in God and prayed not only for himself but for everyone he loved. He helped people who needed help, he caught bad guys and put them behind bars where they couldn't hurt anyone and he did his best to be a good friend and a good father. He was trying so hard to make up for the sins of his past and for some reason these things keep happening to him. It took him so long to get back to where he was before the surgery, so damn long before he felt back to normal. He wasn't sure if he had the strength to do it all again. Especially on his own; especially without her. When the anger subsided, he found that he took his rage out on a couple of boxes. They were pretty much shredded, the contents either strewn out on the floor or spilling out on the ruins that remained. At least he could eliminate those boxes as being the one he stashed his good scotch in, he half laughed to himself.

Exhausted from spending his rage on the boxes, from receiving devastating news not once but twice, and from missing Brennan, he fell against the wall and slid down to the floor. He ached for her so much that it literally physically hurt. He could feel it over every inch of him. The doctors might say it was exhaustion, and he had to admit he wasn't sleeping much lately-but he knew it wasn't something as simple as exhaustion. It wasn't something that could be solved with rest. The antidote to what ailed him was in Indonesia.

Booth grabbed his cellphone-her satphone number was saved there-and hit the first of the three buttons that would activate the speed dial program that would connect him to her satphone line. His finger paused, hovering over the second button. The voice in his head that made him reach for the phone in the first place told him to call, because he needed to hear her voice. There was something about it that never failed to make him smile, and right now he badly needed a reason to smile. He didn't necessarily have to tell her what was going on with him. He just needed to talk to her for a little while to forget how crappy his life was.

That voice warred with another in his head. One that told him to be honest with himself. He would call her up, and when she asked how he was doing, what would he say? If he said he was fine and she found out later that he had to undergo brain surgery again, she'd be furious. He saw it as protecting her from the truth and she would see it as him lying to her. And if he told her what was going on, what would she say? Would she offer to hop on a plane back to DC when she just arrived in Indonesia? If she didn't, if she said that there was no point in her returning, because there was nothing she could do to help him, what would he do? How was he supposed to survive that emotional body blow? If she did volunteer to come back, Booth knew that she'd return out of obligation to her partner, nothing more. The whole time she was there with him, she'd be dreaming about going back to Indonesia. And he would have to deal with knowing that his selfish need to have her by his side was robbing her from participating in the dig of a lifetime. That even though she was with him, she wished she was somewhere else. What kind of man would do that? What kind of man would put his needs over the happiness of the woman he loved? There was no way that he could call her now. He didn't trust himself to keep from telling her about his medical condition, and worse, no way he could reassure himself that he wouldn't beg her to come home.

He flipped shut his phone and sat quietly, staring out the window at the newly breaking dawn and mused on how quickly time can pass when you're absorbed in thoughts and regrets. He still had a couple of hours before Cam picked him up to go to the hospital, but he knew that trying to get some sleep would be a waste of time. Besides, he had already taken the covers off the bed, taken apart his bed frame and the mattress and box spring were up against his bedroom wall. He grabbed his army duffle and took out a paperback book, flipping it open to his favorite part-when Kathy and Andy meet. He's already read every book she's written more times than he cared to admit, and he had hard cover copies of all of them-which he had no intention of bringing with him to Afghanistan-so he got paperback editions. As much as Bones claimed that the couple featured in her novels weren't based on them, he wanted to believe that they were. He wanted to read them on his down time because he knew that while they were going to be apart, communications between them would be sporadic at best. It was going to be hard, going from spending almost every day with her to an occasional email and a call every once in a while. When he read her books, he could almost hear her voice narrating it to him. It wasn't as good as actually hearing her voice, but he figured that it would have to do for now. Maybe it would even help him get by while he recovered from his skull getting cut into-again.

He lay down on his couch, and for a short time lost himself in the chapter he was reading. When he was done, he was tempted to keep reading, but his wristwatch told him that he didn't have much time before Cam was due to pick him up. He flipped to the end of the book where he kept a picture of him and Brennan at his birthday. They looked so happy together, their cheeks pressed together while they each beamed a great big smile at the camera, that anyone looking at them would think that they were a happy couple in love. He half smiled at the picture and stroked Brennan's cheek with his thumb before using it to hold his place in the book. He grabbed his travel kit and some clothes out of his army duffle and took a quick shower. By the time he was done, Cam was calling his cellphone to tell him she was on her way.

He was about to head out the door and wait for her downstairs, when he paused. Booth suddenly remembered what Bones once said about the importance of totems. He ran back to the couch where he left the book, grabbed the photo, folded it in half and stuck it in his wallet. He had a hell of a long day coming up, and it couldn't hurt to have it with him. He took a deep breath, stuck his wallet in his back pocket and braced himself for the day to come before leaving to meet Cam.


	6. On My Way

**A/N: I know I keep saying this, but sorry for the delay in updating. RL keeps kicking me while I'm down. No more excuses or preamble, just...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bones or any of its characters. You'd all probably hate me if I did for making you wait.**

**Now, on with the chapter.**

**On My Way**

"We'll be landing in fifteen minutes Dr. Brennan." the pilot informed her over the intercom.

She continued to stare out the window, barely acknowledging his words outwardly. Internally, she could feel anxiety and anticipation building within her and her heart rate increasing. The past 72 hours have been an emotional whirlwind, and even her quicksilver mind was barely able to grasp everything that happened. One minute she was forcing herself to walk away from Booth at the airport, trying to convince herself that her involvement in such an important project was worth the pain of separation. Then she was in Muluku, missing Booth so much that she was feeling constriction in her chest whenever she thought about him, and she thought of him often. She would have worried about her health if not for the fact that she was physically fit, enjoyed a healthy lifestyle and she passed a physical evaluation by her doctor before she left. She had once again convinced herself that being a full year apart from him was necessary to gain much needed perspective, when she received news that Booth's tumor had returned. She climbed aboard a helicopter, a private plane and now she was fifteen minutes from home.

Home. She was going home to DC, to her friends, to Booth.

Part of her was terrified. The thought of Booth having to repeat a surgery that she had nearly lost him to before threatened to overwhelm her. Conversely, there was another part of her that anxiously anticipated seeing Booth again. She could no longer deny that she missed him. As irrational as it sounded, Brennan felt the negative effects of his absence even as they were making plans to reunite in a year. He was there with her, right in front of her and yet she felt as though she missed him already.

And now, she was on a private plane, rushing to be at his side. A small smile curled at the corner of her lips as she realized that she didn't regret her decision to leave Muluku. She had never done anything like this before, make a decision based on emotions rather than relying on rationale and reason to guide her towards the most logical conclusion; at least, never before without Booth's guidance. For the first time in her life she was acting without a reasonable expectation of what was going to happen. She was acting without a plan.

In fact, she cancelled her plans for the year and walked out on what could have been a groundbreaking project-one that could have effectively rewritten history and ensured her place in the American Anthropology journals. Instead, she informed Dr Ellen Montgomery-the Muluku project administrator, that she was leaving camp not even twenty-four hours after she had arrived there. And Dr Montgomery wasn't shy about expressing her disgruntlement at Brennan's decision.

At first, Ellen thought that Brennan was joking about leaving Muluku, though she didn't think that the joke was very funny. When Brennan assured her that she wasn't at all making an attempt at humor, and that the Cantilever helicopter was due to arrive soon to retrieve her, she attempted to reason with Brennan. Montgomery said that although Booth's situation was terrible indeed, since Brennan wasn't a medical expert, her presence wasn't required in DC. There would be nothing for her to do but wait for news of his condition. Staying in Muluku would allow her to spend her time waiting for the news more productively. Besides, there would be consequences to her career if she left the project for anything other than a family emergency.

"Agent Booth isn't related to you either by blood, or by marriage," she pointed out. "he isn't a member of your family Temperance."

"There are different kinds of family Ellen," Brennan repeated the words Booth said to her long ago. They had never rang more true than at that moment. "he is part of my family. And I can say with absolute certainty that if our roles were reversed, no matter where in the world he was or what he was doing, Booth would make every effort possible to be at my side. How can I not do the same for him? It's what partners do, what family does for each other."

"Brennan, you have a responsibility to this project," Ellen replied coldly. "Think of how vital this project is to our understanding of the evolution of human kind. Think of what prematurely abandoning this project would do to your reputation, to your career. Is Agent Booth worth it?"

"Yes," Brennan answered, slightly surprised at her own lack of hesitation. "I've already assigned an interim field director and I have a list prepared of anthropologists that are qualified to replace me. I will email the list to you before I leave."

"Doctor Brennan-"

"I have to go," Brennan interrupted. She had made up her mind, and there was no point in allowing Dr. Montgomery to believe that there was anything she could do to change her mind. "I have to finish preparing for my return to DC and send you my list. I will be in contact with you once I am assured of Booth's recovery to see how the project is proceeding. Goodbye."

Brennan ended the call on her satphone, sent the list to Dr. Montgomery, and went to retrieve her bags, ignoring the looks that she received from the doctoral candidates and the fellow anthropologists that she was leaving behind. Without speaking to them, she understood what they must have been thinking, because if it weren't for Booth, she would have thought the same thing about someone who chose to walk away from an opportunity such as this. Over the years that they have cultivated their partnership and friendship, he helped her to understand that life was more complex than reason would allow for. Sometimes you have to put your brain in neutral and your heart in overdrive.

This was her heart in overdrive.

The sensation of the plane beginning its descent brought her back to the present. She made sure that her seatbelt was fastened and looked down at the little plastic figurines in her hands. When she was packing up her things at the camp, she placed the totems in her pocket rather than in her bag, feeling the need to have them close. She smiled, thinking about what Angela said to her before she left for Muluku. Angela told her that she hoped that Brennan would find something that changed the entire notion of what it meant to be human. She finally did, although not exactly in the manner she expected to. Instead of finding the answers in ancient remains, she found it in a phone call from her best friend. She realized that as a human being, life wasn't always logical and reasonable; life was messy and confusing, exciting and scary all at once. Emotions weren't a weakness or a liability, they were simply a part of what it means to be human, and to dismiss them or continuously compartmentalize them without addressing them would lead to an empty life. She no longer wanted that. Brennan realized that messy and confusing were exciting, and not as scary as they would be if she didn't have Booth to help her navigate through her emotions. And loving someone doesn't have to be a terrifying experience. Not when you had someone who loved you as much as Booth did.

She realized that Booth loved her-really loved her. He didn't just say the words, he demonstrated his feelings for her with his actions. She hadn't felt loved in such a long time, not since she was a child. Not since the night her parents disappeared. After that, logic and rationale were her saviors, shielding her against a cruel world that would seek to break her heart. Somehow, Booth was able to break through her barriers. With him she felt safe, protected, and something else. Something she dare not admit until now. She felt loved. It was a feeling that she wasn't accustomed to. She feared it mainly because she was terrified of what would happen when it went away. How would her life be if she became romantically involved with Booth, only for him to either die, or fall in love with someone else. What if the love he gave to her was taken away. If she allowed herself to love him back, how would she fare if he were suddenly no longer there for her to give her love to him?

The problem is, she finally realized that she did love him, more than she ever thought she could love anyone. And he was due to have another brain surgery. There is an inherent danger in any invasive surgery, especially when it involves the brain. She found that even with the prospect of losing him to a premature death, it didn't diminish the way she felt about him, even though they weren't romantically involved. Her chest constricted painfully at the thought of him suffering through the recurrence of his tumor feeling alone. She witnessed first hand how frightened he was when he first had the surgery.

She could still remember that day with perfect clarity. It was exactly a year and fifteen days ago, after informing the others of his medical status she returned to his room. He lay on the hospital bed, already attached to heart monitors and to his IV, anxiously searching for her. The relief in his eyes as his gaze locked on to hers brought tears to her eyes. Being an alpha male, he wasn't the type to ask for assistance, which is why-when he asked her to oversee the surgery, she couldn't refuse.

Now that he had to go through it all again, he was willing to do it alone because he wanted her to be happy and he thought she was happiest in Muluku. He was willing to suffer in silence, so that she could continue with the dig in blissful ignorance. A sob escaped her as she pictured him, scared and vulnerable on his hospital bed, except this time, he wouldn't be looking for her. He wouldn't expect her to be there, and the thought that he believed she would rather be in Muluku than at his side in his time of need was heart crushing. More painful than that was the idea that Booth could die without knowing how much she did love him.

The plane touched down and she wiped away tears that she didn't realize she had shed. She made another life altering decision in that moment. She would tell Booth that she loved him, and was ready to give them a shot.

She just hoped that it wasn't too late.


	7. Stop and Stare

**A/N: So, I was going to finish up Revisionist when this chapter started to write itself. This is a bit of a transitional chapter, there are a couple of big ones on the way, so bear with me and I hope you like it anyway.**

**To those who have read and reviewed any of my stories, muchas gracias. To the few who've read/reviewed/alerted/favorited all of my stories, you are my sunshine.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bones or any of its characters. I know, I've checked.**

**Stop and Stare**

Sweets arrived at the hospital nearly an hour before Booth and Cam were due to arrive. He couldn't help it. He couldn't sleep, his apartment was somehow too noisy and too quiet at the same time. His place was far too empty without Daisy there. After hours of just staring at his ceiling, wondering if she spared a thought for him too, he decided to just get up get moving. He took a quick shower, and made himself breakfast despite not feeling hungry at all. He barely tasted the bagel that he forced himself to eat. He ended up drinking two cups of coffee because he kept forgetting to reset the coffee maker after Daisy left, and it seemed like a waste to let the remaining coffee sit in the pot, waiting for Daisy to drink it. Problem was, she wasn't coming back to DC for a year. And even when she did he wasn't sure if they would ever be able to get back together. It sucked knowing that the person you love would choose their career over you. He totally got how Booth must have been feeling. Except for the part where Booth found out that his cancer was back.

Focus Lance, he scolded himself.

He wasn't there so that he could cry on Booth's shoulder and commiserate with him about the loves of their lives that ran off on them. He was there to support Booth in any way that he could, the way that family was supposed to be there for each other. The way that Booth was always there for all of them. As much as missing Daisy still hurt, what Booth was going through was worse. If there was a time for Sweets to man up and show that he really did consider himself a part of their makeshift lab family, this was it. Booth needed them to be strong for him, at least until Brennan shows up. He really hoped that she makes it there before Booth has to go into surgery. According to the latest update from Hodgins, Brennan was right on schedule and due to arrive early tomorrow night.

The question that haunted Sweets was what if something happens and they have to rush him into surgery? They were clinging to the idea that Brennan would show up in time to give Booth a reason besides Parker to fight for his life, but they were operating on the belief that everything was going to go smoothly. What if he starts to exhibit other symptoms such as hallucinations or delusions? Worst case scenario could include Booth having some sort of seizure because of the tumor. Sweets knew that the chances of that were slim to none, but he was starting to panic. He had lost his parents not that long ago, and just when it seems that he found another family to belong to, he was again faced with losing someone that was important to him.

He took a deep breath to calm himself down when out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Booth and Cam. Cam was dressed casually in a plain grey long sleeve shirt and black skinny jeans, her hair pulled back in a bun with her side swept bangs brushing lightly against her eyebrows. She did her best to give off an air of calm authority while at the hospital so that she could make sure that Booth gets the best care possible, but Sweets trained eye could see how much Booth's condition was affecting her. The toll that this was taking on Cam was written on her face-the hint of pallor on her face, the bags under her eyes, the crease on her brow. She was trying her best to be strong for Booth, trying to lead the rest of them by example.

Booth walked alongside Cam, with hardly a trace of the swagger and bravado he usually exuded when he walked into the room. He looked like he hadn't slept in days, and exhaustion rolled off of him in waves. He had none of the usual air of authority that seemed inherent to him. Booth seemed so fragile...so utterly un-Booth like that Sweets barely recognized him and he felt his spirits sink even further. Booth just always seemed to be able to handle anything that seeing him like this was disheartening.

Then Booth caught sight of Sweets and Sweets could see a flicker of annoyance in the agent's eyes. Booth looked at Cam who refused to look at him until they had caught up with the young psychologist.

"What are you doing here Sweets?" growled Booth.

"I asked him to be here." said Cam nonchalantly.

"Cam, I told you that I didn't want anyone to know about this!" Booth hissed angrily. "Who else did you tell?"

"Don't be upset with her Booth," pleaded Sweets. "Angela, Hodgins and I met up for drinks with her last night. We could tell that she was very upset, so we pressed her to tell us what was bothering her. We were glad that shm e did. Booth, all we want to do is show our support for you in any way that we can, and to be there for you the way that you're always there for us. Please let us."

"Thanks kid, I appreciate the support," Booth replied, reaching out and giving Sweets shoulder a friendly squeeze. "but that doesn't answer the question of why you're here. Is everyone going to show up every time I get a test done?"

"Don't know about everyone else, but I'm here to help out with your Neurological exam," Sweets grinned good naturedly, silently giving himself a pat on the back for not wincing at Booth's shoulder squeeze. "I figure that in my professional capacity as your psychologist, I'd be able to lend some valuable insight to your Neuro exam. I might also be able to help the test go a little smoother, and maybe a little faster too."

Booth seemed to see the sincerity in Sweets eyes, nodded and exhaled heavily in an attempt to keep his emotions in check before speaking again.

"Thanks Sweets," he said when he was able to speak. "Really, thanks."

"What else are friends for, right?" smiled Sweets.

"Does...does _she_ know?" asked Booth hesitantly.

"I did not tell Brennan." Cam replied, looking him straight in the eyes. Technically, she was telling the truth. She wasn't the one that told Brennan.

"Good," nodded Booth. "That's...thanks Cam. She doesn't need to know."

Booth looked as though he was about to say something else, but instead, closed his eyes and his mouth tightly, and inhaled deeply before shaking his head. What little fight he had mustered seemed to have evaporated, and when he finally looked up, there was a haunted look in his eyes. Sweets wanted to tell him that it was going to be all right, that Brennan was on her way. But Cam stopped him with a look. For a second, he wondered why she wouldn't want Booth to know. Then he suddenly realized the reason why they shouldn't tell him just yet. With a nod of understanding, he kept silent.

"Hey Booth," Cam spoke up. "You two better get going, you're going to be late for your appointment."

"Yeah, you're right," Booth smiled weakly. "We'll meet up with you in the cafeteria when we're done."

Cam managed to remain standing on her shaky legs as she watched Booth and Sweets walk away. When they were out of eyesight, she pressed a hand to her queasy stomach and she allowed herself to let out a breath she didn't know she was holding in, but when it came out, it came out in pained staccato gasps. She felt tears well up in her eyes, and she shut them tight to stop any more tears from surfacing. Cam leaned against a wall, took a few deep breaths and told herself to toughen up. This was just the beginning, of what might be a very long road.

She wiped her eyes and took a cleansing breath before calling Hodgins.

"The flight is going as scheduled Cam," repeated Hodgins, he felt as if he had said that exact phrase at least a hundred times already. "I don't know what else to tell you. I've got her on the fastest jet that we have, so other than getting her into time machine, or finding a usable teleporter, I don't know what else to do."

"I'm sorry Jack," Cam apologized. "I just...I don't know what to do. You didn't see him this morning. He's just so...he needs her. He needs her right now."

"Then tell him," advised Hodgins. "Tell him she's on her way there."

"He's still too conflicted about her knowing about his condition," she began. "he thinks that there's no way that she would be here if she wasn't forced. As much as he wants her here, he wants her to_ want_ to be here. Then, once the idea that she's coming back settles in, he'll be worried about exactly where she is, and her safety on the way home, and whether she'll leave right after the surgery or wait until he wakes up. What he wouldn't concentrate on is himself and getting better. Right now, what he needs to do is concentrate on himself and making it through the surgery, not on Brennan."

"This sucks," sighed Jack in frustration. "why the hell is this happening again?"

"I don't know Jack," replied Cam. "honestly, I can't think of a reason good enough."

"Do you think that things will be different between them when she gets here?" mused Jack. "I mean, what's it going to take for them to realize what they mean to each other?"

"I don't know," shrugged Cam. "If this doesn't make her wake up and realize her feelings for Booth, I don't think anything will."

"I'll keep you posted on her progress Cam." said Jack after a brief silence. "Keep me up to date on how Booth's doing."

"Will do," smiled Cam. "And thanks Jack, for everything."

"We're family, right?" replied Jack. "You need anything, call us."

She thanked him again, hung up and made her way to the cafeteria. She got herself a large coffee and found a corner table where she could tackle some paperwork while she waited for Sweets and Booth. At least, she tried to get to work on the files she brought with her, but she could barely concentrate. Time seemed to be ticking at a maddening rate, the minute hand on the wall clock in the cafeteria seemed to move back and forth rather than clockwise. She looked up at it every few minutes thinking more time should have gone by.

She had given up on the documents and forms she was supposed to review and began to just stare out the window, hoping to lose herself the beauty of the day. It turned out to be gorgeous outside, the very first really warm and sunny day of the year. There wasn't a cloud in sight, and the cerulean blue of the sky seemed to go on forever. Everything that the suns rays touched seemed so utterly vibrant, from the verdant grass in the hospital garden, or the young white roses that were turning their buds to drink in the sunshine. Even the faces of the people walking by her window seemed to glow with warmth. Cam should be enjoying it, instead it felt obscene that the day should be so glorious when her best friend was so sick. She hated that she felt so resentful over something that can't be controlled, not that she really felt control over anything at that moment. She can't heal Booth, she can't get Brennan here any faster, and she can barely keep it all together for herself let alone for the others. All she wanted was a little good news. Maybe Both won't need surgery, maybe it's benign and the memory lapse she witnessed was nothing to be concerned about.

"Who am I kidding?" she sighed and took a sip of her extremely bitter coffee.

It's a good thing that she didn't expect Sweets to bring good news with him, because she would have been very disappointed. The kid looked like he was trying his best not to cry as he slumped into the chair in front of her.

"I guess I shouldn't bother to ask how it went." muttered Cam, taking another swig of her coffee.

"He's taking a little too long to answer simple questions," replied Sweets. "He's showing signs of a deteriorating short term memory, and having trouble focusing. It's not looking good at all Cam."


	8. Stand By Me and When A Man Loves A Woman

**A/N: guess what folks, not only do you get a fairly rapid (ish) update, but you get two chapters in one! What this basically means is that I started typing and couldn't stop. Yay! Hope you like it.**

**Thank you to those who have favorited/alerted/reviewed any/all of my stories. You are the milk in my cereal.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bones or any of its characters. If I did, clothing for the regular male cast members would be forbidden. That means you Booth, and Jack too.**

**Stand By Me**

"I don't suppose you have some good news to go with the bad?" Cam half joked as she massaged her temples.

"Wish I did," said Sweets quietly, staring at his hands as he picked at the corner of his thumbnail. "I didn't know what to say to him after the test. He asked how he did, and I said-'you did great'. What a complete load of crap. The therapist in me knows that I should have been honest. It's just, the poor guy has been through so much-is still going through so much that I just didn't have it in me to give him more bad news."

"Don't be so hard on yourself Sweets," soothed Cam. "We're all doing the best we can under the circumstances. And I understand how you feel. The last thing I want to do is have to give him more bad news."

"You might have to," Sweets regretfully informed her. "he's just having an MRI done, and then you're supposed to meet him at Dr Jursik's office."

"I might as well head over there now," declared Cam as she gathered her stuff. "You should call Jack and Angela to give them an update. I'll meet you guys at the Founding Fathers after Booth and I are done talking with Dr Jursik."

"Okay." Sweets nodded, speed dialing Hodgins number. "Good luck Cam."

She turned to him, smiled forlornly, and continued on her way to Dr. Jursik's office. She didn't have to wait long very long in the waiting area before Booth arrived.

"Hey." muttered Booth as he sat beside Cam.

"Hey yourself," she half smiled, noting that he looked more tired than ever. "how are you holding up?"

Booth merely shrugged, staring at the floor as they waited for Dr Jursik. The wait lasted no more than half an hour, but felt like an eternity for the both of them. The silence was torturous, both of them sensing that the other needed some sort of reassurance, but neither knowing what to say. Suddenly, Dr Jursik burst through the door, and gestured for them to follow him into his office. He greeted Cam as one would a fellow colleague before turning his attention to his patient.

"Booth, I was kinda hoping that I wouldn't see you in my office ever again." Dr Jursik half joked, gesturing for Booth and Cam to take a seat in front of his desk."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Booth smiled. "You have a really nice office, but this is the last place I want to be. No offense."

"None taken," Jursik chuckled good naturedly. "Unfortunately, we're going to have to get serious now. Booth, when you were told that there was a recurrence of your tumor, you were aware that there was a possibility that you're going to have to have surgery to remove the glioma, correct?"

"Yeah, I did." replied Booth solemnly.

"Well, in light of the tests taken this morning, and in combination with the MRI that you just took, that probability has become a certainty," said Doctor Jursik with a hint of sadness. "I'm sorry to have to tell you that."

"It's okay doc, I was expecting you to say that," shrugged Booth.

"What's next?" asked Cam, trying not to show how anxious she was.

"I want to book him for an operation as soon as possible," said Jursik, looking over his notes in Booth's file. "The symptoms that you're exhibiting are still minor-no auditory or visual hallucinations, no double vision, no seizures, no severe memory loss, nothing like that right?"

"None so far doc." answered Booth honestly.

"I still want to operate as soon as possible," mused Jursik as he turned to his computer and clicked on some keys. "I don't want to give your tumor a chance to grow and do further damage. The OR is booked solid for tomorrow morning unfortunately. There is an opening for 5 p.m. How does that sound?"

"Sure, I don't have anything else planned." Booth quipped.

"Good," Jursik laughed. "Wouldn't want to have your surgery interfere with your social life."

"Make sure that you don't eat anything after 7 a.m.," ordered Jursik, typing something else into his computer. "And make sure that you're back at the hospital by 2 o'clock for your preop preparations. Okay?"

"Be here by 2 p.m. tomorrow," repeated Booth, already planning how he was going to spend his evening before the surgery with his son. He wished that he could have spent some time with Brennan as well, but that wasn't going to happen. "Yeah, got it."

"Do you have any questions?" asked Jursik.

For a little while, Cam and Jursik discussed the tumor in further detail, the problem he had with the anesthesia in his previous surgery, and other medical considerations when they both noticed that Booth wasn't listening.

"Booth!" said Jursik sharply, worried that he was having a minor seizure and temporarily lost consciousness.

"What?" growled a startled Booth.

"Are you okay?" asked Cam, understanding Jursik's concern. "Did you tune out or did you blank out?"

"I was just...I was thinking of a friend, that's all," sighed Booth. "Maybe you're right and I should tell her."

"Good to see I just bored you and that you didn't blank out," joked Jursik, standing up. "Sorry, but I've got to get going. I have to check in with some other patients. See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, see you tomorrow doc." said Booth as he stood up to shake Dr Jursik's hand.

Jursik left his office, and Cam and Booth followed him out. They walked together in silence to the bank of elevators down the hall.

"Do you want me to go with you to pick up Parker?" offered Cam as she pressed the button for the elevator.

"I think I'm just going to call Rebecca and ask her to bring him over," smiled Booth. "Thanks though Cam. Thanks for everything. And I'm sorry for yelling at you for telling the squints, I-"

"Don't worry about it," Cam waved it off. "Just know that you're not alone in this. You need anything, you call me. I'm pretty sure that the other squints would say the same."

They hugged briefly, hoping that they were able to say everything that needed to be said in that hug. When they separated, the elevator doors opened. They went in, and Cam started a discussion of the Capitals chances of getting into the playoffs versus how the Flyers were doing.

The hockey debate continued until she dropped him off at his place. For a short while she was able to keep his mind off of his surgery and maybe even off of Brennan and she was thankful for it. But when she stopped in front of his building, she could feel his attention wandering back to his partner and all of the times that they spent at each other's homes.

"Are you going to call her and tell her?" asked Cam.

"Nah," Booth shook his head. "There's no point. It'll just make her worry, and there's nothing that she can do from over there anyway. She may be a little upset that I didn't tell her when she gets back, but by then I'll hopefully be back to my old self again, and she'll be able to see that I made a reasonable choice keeping this from her."

"You hope." Cam teased.

"Yeah, well I'll have to deal with all of that later," sighed Booth. "I still have to cancel the movers and tell my landlord that I don't need to have my apartment sub letted after all. I just hope that he hasn't already found someone to take the place."

"Good luck with that," Cam smiled, knowing that Booth's landlord can be a bit of a curmudgeon. "If you need anything, call me."

"I think I'll be okay," Booth reassured her as he stepped out of her car. "I'm just going to spend some time with Park. Maybe get Sid to make a delivery. I've missed his food."

"All right then," shrugged Cam. "I'll pick you up tomorrow at 1:30, okay?"

"See ya." Booth waved before entering his building.

Cam then went on to meet the others at the Founding Fathers, where she informed them of Booth's upcoming surgery, and the great debate went on as to whether or not they were going to tell Booth about Brennan or not. Cam and Sweets were definitely against the idea, while Hodgins and Angela were determined that Booth should know.

"How the hell can we not tell him?" Angela burst out. "You said it yourselves, Booth doesn't seem like himself right now. He's just been told that they're going to have to crack his skull open again and he thinks that the woman he loves wouldn't bother to come back if she knew. Don't you think that knowing she's on her way would help Booth to hang on?"

"You know the reasons why Angela," argued Sweets. "first, he'll be upset with us for telling her, then he'll be obsessed with her safety getting here. He has surgery scheduled for tomorrow. What if her flight is delayed? If she doesn't get there before his surgery, do you really think that he'll agree to go under the knife? He'll end up stalling for as long as he can, and I wouldn't put it past him to refuse the surgery if she isn't here before they wheel him into the OR."

"But-" Jack tried to interject.

"But nothing Jack," Cam interrupted. "Sweets is right, telling Booth that she's on her way might make things worse. At least, right now he's resigned to her not being here. He won't be disappointed or freak out if she's not here on schedule."

They all seemed to nod at this, knowing that Cam was probably right.

"Let's all agree not to tell him, okay?" she asked the group. It took a brief stare down with Hodgins, then with Angela, but she was able to get them all to agree.

"What time is Booth going into surgery?" asked Angela, finishing off the last of her drink.

"I have to bring him in by 2, he has some pre-op blood work and paperwork, and he goes into surgery at 5," answered Cam. "How's the flight going?"

"Actually, they're ahead of schedule by, like, an hour," replied Jack. "A customs rep had to go on board when they touched down in Tokyo to refuel, and apparently, she's huge there. The customs officials were big fans of hers and when they saw that she was the passenger, they waved her off. It took half an hour to refuel, and they were sent on their way. She's en route to Chicago, and from there it's just one more hour to DC."

"Thank God," Cam sighed in relief. "Finally, some good news."

"I hate to be the one to point this out," said Sweets hesitantly. "But what about traffic? You know what its like to be out on the roads at that time of day."

"I called Charlie when we got the update on Brennan's flight," said Angela. "She has an official FBI escort to the hospital, complete with flashing lights to help get her to Booth's side as quick as possible."

"Alright people, there's nothing else we can do tonight," announced Cam, getting up from the table. "Booth's going to spend some quality time with Parker tonight, and I'm going home to watch a movie with Michelle. I advise you all to go home and get some rest, tomorrow is going to be a long day."

They all left the table, each going to their respective homes to brace themselves for the day ahead.

After watching a romantic comedy with Michelle, Cam went to her room, thinking that there was no way that she would be able to sleep that night. As soon as her head hit the pillow though, her eyes slammed shut. When she woke the next morning, for a moment she thought the past couple of days were nothing more than a bad dream. And then the alarm on her blackberry went off, and on the screen was a reminder of Booth's surgery. With a groan, she got up, made breakfast for herself and Michelle, and after breakfast she hurried over to the Jeffersonian to finish off whatever paperwork needed to get done, and to make sure that everything was still going smoothly at the lab.

At one, she headed towards Booth's place to pick him up. She got there just as Rebecca was picking up Parker, and he and Booth were hugging goodbye. The sight broke her heart, and she had to struggle not to cry. Cam blinked back tears as she watched Parker hesitantly get in his mother's car, while Booth stood on the sidewalk, waving to his son as they drove away.

When they were out of sight, Booth shook his head, took a deep breath and got into Cam's car. They exchanged a brief smile, and spent the drive to the hospital in silence. Cam understood that his time with Parker was precious to him, and that if he wanted to talk about what happened with his son he would have. She also understood that perhaps he didn't want to discuss his son just before he went into surgery.

When they got to the hospital, Booth was surprised by the greeting he received. In the waiting room stood Hodgins, Sweets, and Angela, who brandished a "good luck Booth" sign. For the first time in a while, Booth was able to give a genuine heart felt smile as he gave Angela a hug.

"Hey Booth, could I ask for a hug without you threatening to shoot me?" teased Jack as he approached Booth.

"Just this once," replied Booth, easing his arms around Jack. "And no more than ten-seconds, or I may shoot."

"Ignore him," laughed Cam. "He doesn't have his gun with him."

"They don't have to know that." Booth retorted.

"My turn!" exclaimed Sweets as Hodgins and Booth separated. He threw his arms around Booth and held him tightly until Booth had to pry his arms off of him.

"Okay Sweets, that's enough," Booth declared. "Thanks you guys for being here for me, I mean it. But you guys don't have to stick around."

"Too late Booth, you're not getting rid of us," grinned Jack. "We'll be here when you wake up big guy."

They all seemed to agree fervently that they weren't going anywhere. Booth thanked them again before reporting to the surgical wing. Once all of his blood work and paperwork had been done, the squints snuck into the room where Booth was stationed as he awaited his trip to the OR. They joked around good naturedly and wished him luck once more before returning to the waiting room. As they exited his room, Booth called out to Angela and asked her to stay a little longer. She agreed with a smile and took a seat on the edge of Booth's gurney.

**When A Man Loves a Woman**

"You know, this may sound weird, but I kinda wish that I had my hallucinations back," chuckled Booth ironically. "I'd pretend that Bones was here so I can see her one more time and tell her the things I need to tell her. You know, just in case I don't-"

"Booth, don't talk like that," pleaded Angela. "You're going to be fine."

"Ange, I've been in a hospital enough times to know that my luck is going to run out sooner or later," said Booth knowingly. "Just in case I don't make it through this time-"

"Seeley Booth, that's enough!" she demanded as salty tears burned her eyes. "You're going to make it through because too many people need you to. Who's going to catch all of the bad guys and make the world a safer place, huh?

"There are plenty of other law enforcement agent out there Ange," he reassured her. "really good ones."

"But they aren't you," she cried. She took a few seconds to compose herself before speaking again. "And who's going to work with our motley lab crew? We were going through one a week before you showed up again. We need you, you're our G-Man."

"Cullen will make sure to set you up with a good agent. Perotta has worked with you guys before and she seemed to get along with you guys."

"Bren doesn't like her," Ange confided, wiping away the tears that had spilled over. "She put up with her the first time to clear your name, and the second time because you were injured and it was only temporary."

"It doesn't matter who takes over for me, I know you guys will whip them into shape, just like you did for me," Booth said sincerely. "I became a better agent because of you guys."

"And we became a family because of you." She admitted, taking a hold of Booth's hand.

"And I'm grateful for everything that you guys have done for me," said Booth gratefully. "I don't know how to thank you guys."

"You don't have to thank us Booth, that's what family is for," she smiled. "just make sure that you make it through the surgery, because we all need you. Cam needs you to protect us and to help keep Hodgins in line, not to mention whatever poor intern he's roped into helping him. Hodgins needs you to get him out of the trouble he tends to get himself into, and I need you around because it isn't going to be easy to be the only normal person around the lab."

"You'll all do fine Ange." smiled Booth.

"What about Parker?" Ange asked. "He needs you Booth."

"He's got Rebecca, she's a good mom," he sighed, looking away. "And Cap...I mean Brent, is there too. He's a decent guy and he cares about Becca and Park. And you guys will look in on him too, right? Make sure he's doing okay, remind him of me every now and then? Promise me, promise that if I...if I die, you guys will look in on Parker."

"Booth..." Angela's vice dwindling to a whisper as she could no longer contain her tears.

"Promise me." He begged.

"Okay," she rasped, her voice thick with emotion. "not that we're going to need to, because you are going to survive. You're going to make it through this, you've already survived so much. This is nothing. You've beaten cancer before, and it didn't learn its lesson, so you're just going to have to kick its ass again. Promise that you're going to fight this Booth."

"I promise," he vowed. "And I'm gonna need another more promise from you."

"Oh come on Booth, can we please stop planning your demise?" she sighed, throwing her hands up in the air before dropping them to her sides.

"I know that, as her best friend, of course you'll look after her if I'm not there to do it, right?" he continued on as if he didn't hear her. "You'll make sure that she eats three times a day and doesn't skip a meal no matter how busy she gets? You also have to make sure that she takes a break every now and then, do something fun and not even closely related to work. Get her to laugh every once in a while. She has an amazing laugh, it's like nothing I've ever heard before. Don't let her waste it. Promise me."

"Of course Booth, I promise." Ange swore to him.

"I also want you to help her find someone," he added. "I know that she's going to say that she doesn't need help, and she doesn't need anyone in her life but you know that she does. She has really bad taste in men. She deserves someone good for her-someone who'll look after her and treat her right. Someone who'll be there for her whenever she needs him, someone who will love her with every cell in his body and would be willing to give her everything that he has to give. She needs someone she can trust, who would never hurt or betray her, because if he does I will come back from the grave and take care of him."

"I don't doubt it. You'd be one hell of a poltergeist." she chuckled.

"I'd like to see the ghostbusters try and get rid of me," Booth grinned. "But seriously, help her find someone who she can let her guard down with, someone she can open up her heart to and know that she would be safe doing it. Someone who makes her feel as special as she is. She is an extraordinary woman, and whoever she falls in love with should be aware of that and appreciate it."

"She already has you for that Booth," she pointed out. "You can't leave her."

"I don't want to leave her Ange," he whispered, a lone tear escaping from the corner of his eye. "believe me, it's the last thing I want to do. Just the thought of it is killing me. And I will fight with everything I have to make it back to her and Parker. Please let her know that. I don't want her to think that I'm just another one of those people who promised to be there for her but left her alone in the end. I love her Ange, more than I ever thought I could love someone. The truth is, she is the one for me, but I'm not the one for her. She deserves more."

"Stop it, she deserves you." Angela argued.

"I tried Ange," he confessed. "I finally got up the courage to tell her how I felt and she wouldn't give us a chance. Maybe she was just scared of things between us changing, or maybe it's just because she didn't feel the same way I did."

"Did she say that?" she asked half scared of what the answer might be, knowing Brennan's propensity for saying the wrong thing in emotional situations. "Did you even ask her how she felt about you?"

"I didn't have to ask," he replied. "She said it was okay for me to move on and find someone else. You don't do that when you love someone. And you don't just up and accept a job that would take you away from the person you love for a whole year and act like it's not a big deal. And it's okay, at least she was honest with me. Her integrity is just one of the things I love about her."

"I just have one more thing to ask Ange," he sighed. "I have a safety deposit box. Bones has the key to it, just call her and ask her where she left it. There aren't any jewels or anything fancy in it. Just a locket that my mother gave to me before she left, some medals that I got when I was in the army, and a couple of things that I wanted to leave to Parker. There are also some letters there that I wrote to all of you in case anything ever happened to me. I left some instructions and I need you to carry them out, and give the envelopes to the people that they're addressed to. Could you do that for me, please."

"Can I just say that I really hate this conversation." groaned Angela.

"I know, but you'll do what I asked right? I just need to know that everything is taken care of before I go under the knife again. I don't want to worry about it when they're cutting into my brain."

"You can count on me Booth." promised Angela. Despite hearing Cam's voice in her head telling her all of the reasons why she shouldn't tell Booth that Brennan was on the way, Ange thought it was cruel not to let him know that Brennan did care enough to return to DC so that she could be with him.

"Booth, there's something that I have to tell you," she began. "Now, don't be mad, because what I'm about to tell you is a good thing-"

Suddenly, Booth's face lost all color and his eyes widened in fear. His breathing became labored as he dug the heels of his hands into his eyes, trying to rub away whatever he had just seen.

"Booth! Booth what's -" she began before turning to see what had frightened Booth so badly.

"It's back Ange," he moaned. "the hallucinations are back."


	9. Tell You Something

**A/N: Sorry for the delay folks. Hopefully this chapter is worth the wait.**

**Thanks to all those still reading this story.**

**Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own Bones or any of its characters. My birthday came and went, still no rights to the show. Hey, Christmas is just around the corner...**

**Tell You Something**

"Booth, what are you talking about?" asked Angela, spinning in her seat as she turned to the doorway hoping to see Brennan. Instead, she felt her heart drop when she realized that there was no one there.

"Unless you're trying to tell me that little blue people do exist, I'm having hallucinations again." sighed Booth.

"You're having hallucinations about Avatar?"

"No, not those blue people," chuckled Booth, staring at the empty doorway. "I'm talking about the first little blue people-Smurfs. Smurfette to be exact. She's standing by the door right now, telling me to 'smurf on'."

Upon seeing the look of confusion and concern on Angela's face, Booth decided to clarify things a little bit for her.

"Smurfette, it's kind of a thing between me and Bones," he smiled. "like a private joke."

"Ah," nodded Angela with understanding. "That kind of makes sense now. It seems like all of your hallucinations have some sort of context to them. Luc Robitaille you saw when you were knocked out at the hockey game, Stewie when you were considering making a baby with Brennan, and now that you're missing her like crazy and deep down you know that you should have called her and told her that you need her back here with you, you see something that represents a private joke between you two."

"Too late now, right?" Both half smiled at her.

Ange was just about to make another attempt at telling Booth that Brennan was indeed on her way to his side when she heard a commotion outside of Booth's room, and a voice that she thought sounded familiar to her.

From the moment that the jet powered down and the pilot opened the hatch, she practically flew out of the plane to Charlie's awaiting SUV parked expectantly on the tarmac. Since her condo was already being subleased, she had arranged with Hodgins to have someone bring her luggage to the Jeffersonian so that she could go directly to the hospital. And as soon as she was safely tucked in the car, Charlie stomped on the gas and sped towards the hospital.

Charlie didn't bother with small talk, he could tell that Brennan's thoughts were with Booth. About damn time too, in Charlie's opinion. He was rooting for the two of them to get together almost as much as the members of the squint squad were. With judicious use of his sirens and flashing lights and knowledge of the best shortcuts in the city, he was able to get her to the hospital in record time. As he pulled up towards the hospital's main entrance, Charlie told her which room Booth was in and the fastest route to get there.

She thanked him with a sincere smile before leaving the car and rushing toward Booth's room.

Brennan paused just outside of his open doorway, just to take a minute to calm herself down, to make sure that she was ready to see him, to be with him. That's when she heard him talking to Angela. As she listened in to his heartfelt words, she felt nearly overwhelmed by her emotions. Booth lay on his hospital bed, acknowledging his mortality, and instead of railing about how unfair life was, how he didn't want to die, his possible last thoughts were of her and Parker. He could have been angry that, after all he's done for her, always being there for her when she needed him, that she couldn't take a chance on him. Instead, he focused on how much he loved her, how he wanted her to be happy, and one of his last wishes was for her to find love and happiness, two of the things he thought she couldn't have with him.

Guiltily, she wondered if she was even capable of being what he needed. She's never been loved like this before. All she knew of love was jealousy, anger, resentment, abandonment-at least until she met Booth. She felt actual physical pain as she heard him speak of all the things he wanted for her, asking nothing for himself but wanting every happiness for the woman that rejected him. She had never known love to be so selfless, and truth be told, she was the one that didn't deserve him. She was afraid of loving someone-of loving Booth that much, of feeling incomplete without him, of depending on him for her happiness. And Booth was there all along, loving her the way that she was afraid to love him.

Could she do it? Could she allow herself to love him that much?

She was already aware of the fact that she loved him-and yes, she now considered that a fact, but she was also cognizant of the difference between feeling love for someone and acting upon those feelings. Loving someone took courage and strength, she learned that from Booth. The question she now posed to herself was-did she have that strength and courage?

"Excuse me miss, can I help you?" came a sharp voice beside her. The voice belonged to a young and not unattractive nurse, who for some reason took an instant dislike to Brennan.

"I'm just...I" she stuttered nervously, startled out of her thoughts.

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave," said the nurse sternly. "This area is for patients who are getting ready for surgery and their families."

"I'm here to see Booth, Seeley Booth." Brennan declared, finding her voice. She didn't care whether or not the nurse liked her, she was going to see Booth.

"He's with someone right now, and he's going to be wheeled into the OR in about ten minutes." the nurse replied coldly.

"You don't understand, I have to see him," argued Brennan. "I just spent twenty-four hours on a plane from Indonesia to get here to see him. I'm tired, I've barely slept and I'm worried that he doesn't realize how much he means to me. As you should know, studies have shown that the patient's positive state of mind contributes greatly to the success of the surgery. I want him to know, I need him to know that I..."

"Brennan! Oh thank God!" sighed Angela in relief, coming to the rescue. "It's about time. I thought you weren't going to get here until after the surgery. Wait a minute, why are you here and not in there?

"This nurse won't let me in," Brennan replied, glaring at the nurse. "I need to see Booth Ange."

"Listen nurse," Ange paused to read her nameplate. What she saw nearly made her laugh out loud. "Elise Perotta huh? You don't happen to know a Peyton do you?"

"I have a cousin named Peyton," the blonde nurse shrugged. "Why? And what does that have to do with allowing too many people to be visiting a patient before his surgery?"

"Nothing, it just explains a lot," muttered Angela. "Okay, listen closely sweetie - this is for your own good. This woman travelled half way around the world to be with the man in there before he has to go into surgery. This woman also has three black belts in three different martial arts disciplines and she isn't afraid to throw a punch. She and Booth have a history of knocking down those stupid enough to get in the way when they're trying to get to each other. So, why don't you save yourself the bruises and just give her a minute to talk with Booth, 'kay?"

"Mrs. Hodgins, I'm sorry, but I don't think that's a good idea," said the nurse, sounding slightly intimidated. "He's going to be wheeled into the OR in ten minutes, we can't have his blood pressure spiking or even worse just before surgery."

"Please, let me just speak with him," pleaded Brennan. "Give me one minute and if he still reacts negatively to my presence, then I'll leave."

Nurse Perotta stood with her hands at her hips, intending not to budge on the matter, but then along came her supervisor to see what was going on.

"This woman wants to go see Mr. Booth, and he's just five minutes from being wheeled into surgery." Perotta said, irritation obvious in her tone.

"Go ahead Dr. Brennan," smiled the older nurse, having recognized her from Brennan's other visits. "I bet he's waiting for you. Just make sure to keep him calm before the surgery."

"Of course," nodded Brennan, giving her a thankful smile. "Thank you so much Justine."

"No problem Dr. Brennan." grinned Justine, calling after Brennan, who already disappeared into Booth's room.

"Thanks for letting her see him Justine." said Angela warmly. "I really appreciate it, and so does she."

"Well, I know better than to try and stop them from seeing each other," laughed Justine. "Elise is too new to know. Could you just make sure to let Dr. Brennan know that?"

"Sure thing Justine," Angela chuckled, sparing a withering glance at nurse Perotta. "I'm gonna let Brennan have some time alone with him, and I'm gonna go let the other's know that she got here in time."

Once Angela had left, Justine turned to Elise, shaking her head in amusement.

"I can't believe you tried to stop her from going in to see him," Justine smirked. "You're lucky that you're still standing. And hey, I don't envy you if Mr. Booth ever found out that you tried to keep Dr. Brennan from him. Listen kid, you might as well know that Mr. Booth is taken. Whatever fantasy you had in your head of being assigned to him and getting a gorgeous guy like him to fall in love with you while you nurse him back to health, let go of it now. I've seen the two of them together enough to know that those two are meant for each other."

Justine walked away, leaving Elise in the corridor by Booth's room. She peeked in, and seeing Booth with Brennan confirmed what Justine had told her.

"Figures, all the good ones are taken." muttered Elise as she went back to the nurses station.

Brennan stepped into the room, and seeing Booth on the hospital gurney with his eyes closed, she took a deep breath before proceeding.

"Booth?" she called out hesitatingly, taking a step closer to him.

Booth slowly opened his eyes, and for a moment, his eyes widened. He blinked several times before shutting them tightly again, pressing the heels of his hands into them.

"No, no...this can't be happening. She's not real," he moaned, the agony in his voice crushing Brennan's heart. "Damn it, this isn't fair. Of all people...this isn't fair."

"Booth, it's me," Brennan reassured him, no more hesitation in her steps. She went straight to his side and took a seat beside him, careful not to disturb his IV. "Booth, I'm here."

Booth continued to mutter, ignoring her assertions when she realized that his previous hallucinations were not only visual, but auditory as well. She glanced at the heart monitor, and became worried that his blood pressure would increase to the point of endangering his surgery, so she didn't have much time to prove to him that she was not a product of his imagination or she would have to leave him without him knowing that she came back for him. Without knowing what he meant to her.

She swallowed back the tears that threatened to spill out and gently took hold of Booth's hands, pulling them away from his eyes.

"Booth, can you feel this?" she asked, lightly squeezing his hands. "Can you feel my touch?"

Booth opened his eyes and stared at her, still unsure whether he should trust his senses. He nodded, afraid that maybe this was a sign that his symptoms were getting worse. He could not only see her and hear her, but he could feel her.

"Good," she smiled nervously. "Can you feel this?"

She bent down to him, and tentatively touched her lips to his. When he didn't flinch or move away, she increased the pressure, sliding her tongue over his bottom lip until his lips parted just enough for her to kiss him the way that she wanted to kiss him.

Booth was starting to think that if this was a hallucination, maybe he didn't want the surgery after all. It seemed so damn real, how breathtakingly beautiful she was, the sound of her voice, the feel of her hands holding onto his, the taste of her lips, the scent of her, it just had to be real, right?

"I'm really sorry to ruin the moment folks," piped up an embarrassed Justine, tapping on the door. "But Mr. Booth needs to maintain a steady heart rate. You two will need to pick that back up after he's recovered."

"You see her too, right?" asked Booth, needing confirmation that this wasn't just his brain screwing around with him.

"Yeah, of course I see Dr. Brennan," smiled Justine, understanding his need for reassurance. "I also caught what you two were doing to make your heart monitor go crazy. Happy as I am to see you two together, you'll have to behave yourselves or I'm going to have to separate you."

"We'll behave," promised Booth. He waited until Justine was out of eyesight when he returned his attention towards Brennan once more. "Bones, what...how..."

"Booth, you heard Justine, you have to keep calm," she lightly admonished him. She also found that she had yet to let go of his hands, and that she didn't really want to. "If your heart rate begins to increase again, they'll make me leave. Do you want me to leave?"

"Never," he declared with a firm shake of his head. "But I don't understand, I thought you were in Indonesia."

"I was," she replied. "Up until 26 and a half hours ago. Angela called me after learning of your medical condition from Cam. Jack arranged for a helicopter to take me from the camp to the Jakarta Airport where a Cantilever jet waited to take me the rest of the way home. There was a stopover in Tokyo and one in Chicago. Charlie picked me up at JFK, and dropped me off at the main entrance and now here I am."

"Angela shouldn't have told you." he sighed, feeling guilty.

"No, you should have told me Booth," she said, letting go of one of his hands so that she could caress his cheek. "How could you not tell me?"

"I know how important this project was to you," muttered Booth, feeling bad that he didn't tell her, but at the same time feeling better than he had in a long time. "I didn't want you to feel like you had to choose between the project and me. Besides, this is a brain thing, and what are you going to do while they crack open my skull again? Just sit around in the waiting room when you could be digging around in the dirt to your heart's content."

"People-the living are more important than those who've been dead for centuries. You taught me that," Brennan reminded him. "You are more important. What if you had gone into surgery without me knowing? What if something happened to you?"

"What if you didn't survive?" she whispered. It took her a moment to find her voice again.

"Booth, there's something I need to tell you before you go into surgery," she started, deciding that if there was ever a time to tell him how she felt about him, this was it. "I've recently come to realize how much you really mean to me, and how empty my life would be without you in it. If I didn't have the opportunity to tell you that I love you, it would be one of my greatest regrets."

"Whoa," exhaled Booth, going back to the thought that maybe he really was just imagining all of this. "Could you please repeat that?"

"I've recently come to-" began Brennan, starting to repeat what she just said.

"No, not that part," Booth interrupted her. "The other part, the part where you told me...the part where you told me you love me? Or did I just imagine that part."

"You didn't imagine that part Booth," she reassured him with a smile and a quick peck on the lips. "I love you Booth."

"I love you Temperance." he replied.

"Good," she laughed. "Now that we've established that our feelings are mutual, the next topic of discussion concerns whether or not we will endeavor to enter into a monogamous romantic relationship."

"You know how I feel about that Bones," grinned Booth, still reeling from the revelation that Brennan did love him, and she was there right beside him, telling him that. "I told you that I already know that I'll still love you twenty, thirty, forty, fifty years into the future. I want to be with you, and now that I know you love me I'm willing to go fast, slow, whatever you want. Just as long as we get to be together."

"I want to be with you as well Booth," she smiled nervously. "Unfortunately, I have no experience in being a part of a successful loving relationship. I'm not sure if I'm capable of being in one, and I don't want to make promises that I wouldn't be able to keep, and I don't want to hurt you."

"Then we'll go slow," he smiled, pulling her towards him for a kiss. "We'll go slow until you see what I see when I think of us together. Until you realize that you and I are real, and we're going to be together when we're old and wrinkled and gray."

"You're so certain of that, aren't you?" she half laughed.

"You're stuck with me babe." he chuckled.

"Then promise me something?" asked Brennan, ignoring his term of endearment. "Promise me that you'll make it through the surgery, so that you could continue to convince me of the future you see for us?"

Booth had difficulty putting words to what he felt at that moment. He understood what she really meant when Brennan asked for the promise. Rather than pointing out logically that once the anesthesia rendered him unconscious, the surgery was out of his hands. His life would be in the hands of the surgeon, the anesthesiologist, and the rest of the surgery team. There could also be any number of unforeseen things that could occur in the OR which would be beyond his control. By asking for this favor, she was putting her faith in him, knowing that if he made a promise, he would do everything in his power to keep it. She was putting her heart on the line for him, and giving him an added reason to fight for his life. If Saint Peter himself came down from his post by the pearly gates to claim Booth, he'd better get ready for a battle, because while there was a breath left in him he was going to do whatever it took to get back to Brennan and Parker.

"I promise." he vowed, leaning towards her for a kiss.

"Sorry folks," a voice coming from the doorway interrupted their moment. "I'd hate to butt in on the moment, but Mr. Booth is scheduled for surgery. We're here to take him to the OR."

She kissed him one more time, and got up from the gurney as two orderlies came in to the room. She continued to hold on to Booth's hand and follow along until the orderlies told her that she couldn't go any further. She held on, her fingers linked with his until his gurney was pushed so far that their fingers no longer touched. She watched until he disappeared past the double doors at the end of the hall.

Once he was out of sight, she sighed, and made her way to their friends in the waiting room, knowing that there was nothing left to do now but hope that he was able to keep his promise.


	10. Pull Me Through

**A/N: Sorry for the inexcusable delay. No excuse but that life is genuinely excrement right now. I'm not dead...yet. Still have a little bit of time left so I thought I'd finish this off. **

**Thanks to all the people who've read any of my stories and are still reading this. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bones or any of its characters. **

**Pull Me Through**

Cam sat hunched over in her seat, her hands clasped together tightly, her eyes clamped shut, praying. For someone who didn't consider herself a religious person, she found herself praying more in the last few years than she had for her entire life; when Epps had targeted the team, when the gravedigger had taken three of her people in two separate instances, when Booth had his first surgery, and when she thought that the pregnancy test she found in the bathroom was Michelle's. And here she was again, pleading with whatever deity was listening that her best friend would survive his second brain surgery. As a doctor, she knew the statistics. As someone who's known Booth for over ten years, she knew better. If there was anyone who could get through this, it was him, especially if he knew that there was a chance that he could have a future with the woman he's loved practically since he first laid eyes on her six years ago, he'd pull through. He had to. There were just too many people who needed him to.

"Dr. B!" she heard Hodgins exclaim. "Thank God you're here!"

She opened her eyes to find Brennan, surrounded by the others who took turns hugging her, and she did thank god. She exhaled heavily in relief, and as she stood up to welcome Brennan back, she could feel tears brimming in her eyes. For the first time since Booth walked into her office the day before, she was starting to think that maybe-just maybe everything could turn out all right.

"I don't think that there are words to express how happy I am to see you." she sniffed, giving Brennan a warm hug.

"I'm happy to see you as well Cam," replied Brennan, hugging her back. "and I'm glad that I got a chance to see Booth before he went into surgery."

"You did?" asked Cam as they separated. There was no stopping her tears as she asked Brennan what happened when she saw Booth.

"I had to convince him that I wasn't a hallucination," admitted Brennan. "But ultimately I was able to prove to him that I was real. And I told him that I love him."

"You did?" they all chimed in simultaneously. They looked at each other and laughed, knowing that they all thought the same thing-it's about damn time that she did.

"Yes, I told him," she said quietly, and despite her obvious exhaustion she seemed to glow with happiness. "And he said that he loves me too."

"Of course he did," laughed Cam. "It's pretty obvious how Booth feels about you Brennan."

"Reflecting upon the years that Booth and I have known each other, I was able to surmise the depth of feeling that he had for me from his behavior towards me," agreed Brennan. "However, it is another matter altogether to hear him say the words, and to be able to tell him how I feel about him as well."

"Finally!" exclaimed Angela. "Took the two of you long enough."

"Speaking of something taking a long time, you must be exhausted after your trip home," said Sweets understandingly. "If you want, I can take you home so that you can take a shower, maybe a nap-"

"My condo has already been subleased," Brennan informed them. "It's currently occupied and the tenants have signed a year's lease. As of right now I don't have a home."

"Sweetie, you can stay with us," offered Angela. "Jack and I have plenty of room. And Sweets is right, you've had a hell of a day. If you want, Jack can drop you off at our place and get cleaned up and get some rest. When Booth is out of surgery, we'll come and get you."

"No," Brennan said adamantly. "I'm not going anywhere until I know that Booth is all right."

"Brennan, I hate to be the one to say this, but you look like you haven't had a wink of sleep and you're just about ready to keel over," said Cam gently. "We understand that you want to be here for Booth, but it won't hurt for you to get some sleep. We promise that the minute we hear anything-"

"No," Brennan interrupted stubbornly. "I won't leave this hospital unless Booth leaves with me."

They all exchanged a look of cautious concern. They were glad that Brennan was finally able to recognize her feelings for Booth, but they were worried about her welfare and the possibility that she was pushing herself to the brink to prove herself to Booth and make up for mistakes of the past.

"Dr. Brennan, we understand your concern for Booth," said Sweets in his most soothing voice. "However, it's obvious that you haven't slept, and if he were standing here with us, he would be the first to insist that you get some rest."

"Booth isn't standing here with us because he's having brain surgery," Brennan pointed out. "And if the situation was reversed, I'm certain that Booth would refuse to leave as well."

Brennan took a seat on one of the padded waiting room chairs, denoting her unwillingness to discuss the matter any further. They exchanged looks, knowing that there wasn't anything that any of them could say to change her mind.

"I'll have someone bring your luggage here so that you can at least have a change of clothes," sighed Hodgins, taking out his cell phone.

"I'll ask Justine if you can use the nurse's change room to get cleaned up." offered Angela.

"Anyone want anything from the food court downstairs?" asked Cam, grabbing her purse. "I'm going to go get myself a sandwich and a coffee, so I might as well take orders."

The only thing that everyone else seemed to want was a coffee, so Cam shrugged and turned to Brennan.

"What about you Brennan, did you get to eat on the way here?" she asked.

"I had a granola bar on the jet." replied Brennan.

"All right then, I'll grab you a salad." Cam nodded as she left.

"You need to eat Dr Brennan." Sweets reminded Brennan while stopping her from refusing Cam's offer.

"I'm perfectly capable of getting myself something to eat if I were hungry." huffed Brennan, exhaustion finally getting to her. "Why do you, Cam and Booth not realize this?"

"We don't do it because we question your competency," soothed Sweets. "We do it because we care. Because people who are as passionate and brilliant as yourself sometimes have a tendency to drive themselves too hard. All they see is the big picture, and they overlook details such as sleeping, and eating, especially when they are focused on something that-at the time-seems more important. When that happens, its up to the people that care about them to step in and help them with all of those little things so that they can keep their focus on what is important."

Overwhelmed by her emotions and her fatigue, Brennan simply nodded. Sweets smiled, and begun rearranging a couple of the chairs in the waiting room.

"Here," he said with a sigh and a flourish of his hands. "The chairs are fairly comfy. You can at least take a bit of a nap while we wait for news of Booth's surgery."

"Thank you." she replied gratefully, settling into the chair.

"We'll wake you up the second we hear anything." promised Sweets, bundling up his jacket so she could use it as a pillow. She accepted it with a small smile, anticipating that she would continue to have trouble sleeping. Instead, as soon as she placed her head on top of Sweets jacket, she found herself drifting off.

Sweets, Angela, Jack and Cam took turns watching over Brennan, none of them mentioning the fact that the surgery was taking a little too long for their liking. They each tried to find out what was happening with Booth, but all that they were told was that there would be someone from the OR on the way to give them an update.

At least Brennan was getting some much needed rest.

It was Cam's turn to keep an eye on Brennan, and the wait was getting to her. She sat in a chair beside Brennan, and for the first hour, she tried to watch the news on the flat panel TV on the waiting room wall. The problem was that she just couldn't absorb anything that the news anchors were saying. It was as if they were speaking in another language-under water. She then tried to read the latest Vogue magazine that she purchased at the newsstand downstairs, but all she managed to do was flip the pages. If someone grabbed the magazine from her and asked what was in it, she would have no clue.

Instead of reading her magazine, Cam's eyes kept drifting to the digital clock on the wall, and every time that she did, the time seemed to have jumped ahead. Unless someone was messing with the clock and her, the surgery was taking longer than she hoped that it would. Granted, she hadn't performed surgery in years, and neurosurgery was pretty damn complicated, and the last thing she wanted Dr. Jursik to do was rush it. On the other hand, she could understand the length of the surgery if the glioma was diffuse, or showed evidence that it had metastasized, but it was a single mass, and-

"Cam?" muttered Brennan sleepily, stretching in her chair and interrupting Cam's thoughts. "Where is everyone?"

"Sweets had some urgent messages he had to attend to, and Hodgins and Angela went to go get something to eat," Cam informed her. "They should be back soon. I got you a salad earlier, but when I came back from the food court you were sleeping."

"Here," said Cam, offering Brennan a packet containing balsamic vinaigrette along with a clear plastic container filled with an assortment of leafy greens. "It still looks edible. Do you still want it?"

Brennan was about to decline when her stomach rumbled loud enough for Cam to hear. Cam smirked and handed her the salad. She was surprised at how hungry she was and finished her meal quickly. She ate without really tasting her food, knowing that her body required sustenance to function at optimum levels. Or as Booth would put it, her body needed fuel to run.

She smiled softly at the thought of Booth before remembering where she was and why. A quick glance to the clock at the corner told her that she had been asleep for some time now, and since her friends had not awakened her with news of Booth's surgery, she knew that there was as yet no news.

Just then Jack and Angela returned to the waiting room, and before they could ask for any news the couple could tell from the looks on Cam and Brennan's faces that the wait was still ongoing. Shortly after Sweets arrived, and Cam, Angela, and Hodgins all shot him a look to warn him not to ask of Booth's surgery.

Cam caught Brennan glancing at the clock, and tried to reassure her despite Cam's own concerns.

"We haven't heard anything yet," said Cam, understanding how anxious Brennan must be feeling. "But that isn't necessarily a bad thing; it just means that Dr. Jursik and the rest of the surgical crew are taking their time and making sure they do the job right. There's no reason to anticipate a negative outcome."

"I know." Brennan replied with a shaky smile, not taking her eyes off of the clock. "Although I find that the longer the length of surgery, the more difficult it is to stop myself from considering the unforeseen complications that may occur during surgery. He's previously had an adverse reaction to anesthetics, and he's having another tumor removed from his brain. There's a myriad of things that could go amiss-"

"Dr. Brennan, I can only imagine how difficult waiting must be for you," interrupted Sweets, thinking that anticipating the worst wasn't good for her. "But as Cam said, no news is good news, right?"

"I've never understood that idiom," growled Brennan. "No news is simply no news, how can it be good to not know? How can being uninformed be something to be desired? I'd want to know, even if the news is bad, I'd want to know."

They all exchanged looks, all knowing that her surliness came from her exhaustion and her anxiety over Booth. Cam, Angela, Hodgins and Sweets all wanted to say something that would reassure her without making false promises that she would see through. They could come up with nothing.

Suddenly Hodgins spotted a doctor in scrubs walking down the hallway and heading straight towards them. He slowly stood up from his seat, squeezing Angela's hand and nodding his head towards the newcomer. Sure enough, as the doctor neared, the couple recognized him.

"Guys, here comes Dr Jursik." Breathed Angela, clutching Hodgins hand.

Cam, Sweets and Brennan stood up as well, apprehension rolling off of them in waves. If Dr Jursik noticed it he gave no indication as he stopped in front of Brennan and Cam.

"Hello everyone, and Dr. Brennan, good to see you again." he said politely, the wear of such a lengthy surgery apparent on his face.

"How's Booth?" Blurted Brennan. "The surgery was longer than I anticipated, what complications did you face and what are the results? Was the surgery successful?"

"Booth seems to be doing well," smiled Dr Jursik, causing the group to give a collected sigh of relief. "We did manage to completely resect the tumor without the need for a radical resection, but as you may have guessed, there were complications. The tumor was highly vascularized for a low grade glioma. We had some issues with bleeding, and stabilizing his blood pressure, but he pulled though. His vitals are strong, and he's being transported to his room right now. In my opinion, the surgery was a success, but the only way to know for sure is to do a few more tests, and of course a neurological examination when he's awake and lucid. I know that you all want to see him, but I suggest that only one person at a time go in. You don't want to overwhelm him."

"Thank you doctor." whispered Brennan.

"You're welcome." Dr. Jursik replied with a warm but tired smile. "I have to go check in on some other patients, but I will see how Agent Booth is doing in a little while. I suppose I'll see you all later?"

"You bet." Cam, Hodgins, Angela and Sweets answered.

They exchanged relieved hugs and high fives before noticing that Brennan was standing still.

"Brennan, are you okay?" asked a concerned Cam, turning Brennan by the shoulders to face her. "You heard what the doctor said, Booth's surgery was a success! He's going to be okay."

"Did you hear the caveat?" replied Brennan. "He said that the surgery was a success in his opinion, and that the only way to know for sure would be to do a neurological examination when Booth was awake and lucid. The last time he had brain surgery they thought it was a success until he didn't wake up after the surgery. That was when they realized that he had an adverse reaction to the anesthesia."

"Bren, they know about his previous reaction to the anesthetics, and I'm sure that they took that into account during this surgery," Angela reassured her. "It's going to be different this time."

"How do you know that Angela?" asked Brennan, fear apparent in her voice.

"Because he has a future with you to look forward to when he wakes up." Smiled Angela.

A little while later, Justine came by to inform them that Booth was in his room and could see visitors.

"Come on Dr Brennan," beaconed Justine. "I'll take you to him."

With uncharacteristic reluctance, Brennan started to follow Justine through the halls until she stopped at a particular door.

"He's waiting to see you." said Justine as she opened the door for Brennan. "I'll have someone bring up a cot so that you'll at least be comfortable there. I won't even bother asking you to leave once visiting hours are over."

"Thank you Justine." Brennan smiled gratefully.

"You're very welcome," grinned Justine. "Just glad you two aren't denying your feelings for each other any more. Let me know if you need anything."

With a deep breath, Brennan entered the room and fought back the flood of memories that threatened to overwhelm her. The last time that she was in a room just like this, with Booth lying prone on a hospital bed, his newly operated head bandaged, her pleas for him to wake up ignored for four anxious, strained, sleepless days. She swallowed back tears and fought for control, telling herself that this wasn't like the last time. This time was different, because as Angela said-he had a future with her to look forward to.

She also couldn't help but remember that he promised her that he would survive the surgery. And Booth kept his promises.

Brennan walked toward his bed, battling the urge to run as fast and as far away as possible. She had made up her mind to explore a romantic relationship with Booth, and she wasn't going to change her mind now.

She sat with him for an hour, holding his hand and sitting quietly beside him as he slept, imagining what being romantically involved with Booth could be like with a soft smile on her lips. She could have sat there for longer, but her thoughts were interrupted by a quiet knock on the door, and Cam peeking her head in.

"I'm sorry," Cam apologized sheepishly. "I hate to intrude on your time with Booth, but visiting hours are almost over, and we were all hoping to visit with Booth a little while before we all get kicked out."

"No problem," nodded Brennan, getting up. "Justine has made arrangements for me to stay with Booth while he's at the hospital, so go ahead and visit with Booth. I'll go and get some coffee in the hospital food court and return when visiting hours are over."

"Thank you." smiled Cam as she entered the room.

Brennan returned to Booth's room just as the announcement was made over the intercom that the hospital's visiting hours were over. Outside of Booth's room she once again encountered Nurse Perotta, and Brennan thought that the nurse would use the visiting hours to try and prevent Brennan from returning to Booth. Instead, Nurse Perotta merely gave her a dirty look before continuing down the hall.

"Don't worry about her," Justine reassured her as they headed into Booth's room together. The cot was already in the room and set up in the corner where Brennan wouldn't be in the way of the doctors and nurses who were there to check in on Booth.

"We had a nice little chat. She shouldn't be bothering you or Booth anymore."

"I'm glad to hear that," sighed Brennan. "While we're here I want to focus on Booth's recovery."

"Speaking of which, I'm here to check on his vitals." Declared Justine. She checked his heart monitor and his blood pressure before trying to wake him.

"The anesthesia should have worn off by now." she frowned.

Brennan took a seat beside his bed, wrapped his hand carefully in hers, and whispered in his ear "I'm here Booth. I need you to wake up for me. Please wake up for me Booth. Wake up for me."

"I was just restin my eyes." Booth muttered, his eyes still shut.

"You're all right?" asked Brennan breathlessly. Booth's speech was slightly slurred, which was to be expected after brain surgery. What mattered most to her was that he was awake now, and he was talking to her in that rich baritone voice that she missed.

"You're awake?"

"Yeah Bones, 'm awake," he managed to squint at her. "I'm just a bit tired. I did just have brain surgery ya know."

"Figures that he would wake up for you." chuckled Justine. "I'm just going to go now and leave you two alone."

"I was scared Booth," she admitted once Justine left. "I was scared that this time you wouldn't wake up."

"I promised you that I would make it through surgery didn't I?" he smirked. "Face it babe, you're stuck with me unless you want to pretend that you didn't tell me that you love me."

"You said that you loved me too." she retorted, once again ignoring his term of endearment and feeling better than she had in a very long time.

"I remember that," smiled Booth. "I'm going to prove to you that we can live happily ever after."

"I'm quite cynical you know," she warned jokingly. "It's going to take a lot of effort on your part to validate your claims."

"Then I'm going to need some sleep." Booth quipped.

"Go ahead and sleep Booth," she cooed softly. "I'll be here when you wake up again."

"Love you." he mumbled, closing his eyes.

"I love you too Booth." she replied, enjoying the freedom to finally be able to say those words to him.


End file.
